 What matters most for children in their family relationships? Navigating the vast number of opinions about what matters most for children’s healthy development can be a daunting and seemingly endless task. From politicians to journalists to self-styled ‘parenting experts’, everyone has an opinion on what children need in their family relationships and how parents should provide this. These opinions can range from the relatively mundane aspects of everyday parenting, for example, how parents can encourage children to brush their teeth, to larger socio-political and legal questions, such as who is allowed to use fertility treatment to create their families, who is recognised as a parent, and what this means for children. Too rarely does evidence manage to break through the heat and noise of these debates, yet developmental psychologists have spent decades addressing the questions of how family relationships shape child development and what really matters for children. We draw on classic and cutting-edge research on family relationships to highlight three factors that psychologists have consistently found to shape children’s development across different relationships, transitions, and cultures, which can enable children to thrive within their families. 1. Relationship quality is more important than family structureEmpirical evidence has consistently shown that the quality of relationships between family members matters far more for children’s healthy development than who lives together and how they are related. Research into the aspects of parent-child relationships that predict outcomes for children has shown that responding in a sensitive (i.e., timely and appropriate) way to a child, consistent provision of support and boundaries, and open communication facilitate positive mental health and social development in children. Similarly, positive, co-operative relationships between parents and siblings also support healthy child development. Furthermore, studies that have looked at different family structures, whether that be the number, gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity of parents in a family, the way in which families were created, or whether family members share a genetic connection, have provided robust support in this area. What a family looks like matters far less for how children develop within that family than how family members treat each other. This is not to say that family relationships, whether between parents and children or between siblings, must always be calm and non-conflictual. The presence of appropriate levels of conflict within family relationships, when handled well (i.e., respectfully and flexibly), can actually be beneficial to children and adolescents in helping them learn and practice different communication skills. 2. Connection promotes autonomyUntil recently, it was not uncommon, particularly in Western countries, for parents to be told that the developmental task of childhood and adolescence was to achieve separation from parents. Research has consistently shown, however, that parents can best support children to develop autonomy in age-appropriate ways by maintaining a connection with them. This is the case whether we are looking at research on how parents can encourage their toddlers to explore a new environment, help their children manage the transition to starting school, or support their teens to navigate increasing independence and changing peer relationships. The presence of a consistent, supportive parent-child relationship facilitates rather than hampers the development of autonomy. 3. Supportive policies and communities matterFinally, research from across different areas of developmental psychology shows us powerfully and consistently that families don’t exist in isolation and that the structures around them matter for children’s (and parents’) wellbeing. This is the case whether we are talking about parents’ access to social support (i.e., the presence or absence of family and friends), the provision or absence of statutory support, for example, in the case of families raising children with disabilities or special educational needs, or the legislative frameworks around families. We know, for example, that policies around parental leave influence, and in some cases constrain, parents’ decisions about parenting and childcare during infancy, and that satisfaction with these arrangements is related to parents’ relationship quality and mental health, both of which affect children’s development. And discriminatory rhetoric and laws, for example, anti-LGBTQ+ legislation or legislation that negatively targets minoritized ethnic groups, can make children and families feel less safe by legitimising abuse towards the family and adding further burdens on family members to advocate for or defend their family. It should come as no surprise, then, that children and families do better with supportive communities and structures around them. No two families or two relationships within a family are the same, but there are consistent factors within relationships that can support children’s healthy development. The extent to which families are able to provide these will differ depending on their knowledge, their previous experiences, the resources available to them, the challenges they face, where they live, and the extent to which the structures around them are supportive or obstructive of family life. Children and their families should be supported to thrive in all their diversity, and focusing on what the evidence tells us really matters for children is, surely, the best place to start. Featured image by Juliane Liebermann via Unsplash. OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world. 
 What all parents need to know to support their teens in college With the semester well underway, your college student is probably juggling a lot—classes, homework, exams, and writing assignments—all while managing friendships, jobs, and other responsibilities. This balancing act can be tough for any young adult, but it’s often especially challenging for students with ADHD. In high school, your teen may have benefitted from built-in structure and support systems (e.g., teachers, parents) that helped them stay on track and meet their goals. In college, those supports tend to fade, leaving students to navigate much more on their own. As a parent, you can play an important role in helping your student adjust to these new demands. Sometimes this means offering a little extra “scaffolding”—gentle support and guidance—to help them build the skills they need to thrive on their own. That’s exactly why I wrote Mastering the Transition to College: The Ultimate Guidebook for Parents of Teens with ADHD. It’s packed with practical information and strategies to help you and your teen navigate these years successfully. This blog post offers a first look at some of those tips, so you’ll have tools ready if your student starts to struggle, academically or otherwise, this semester. - Communication and collaboration are key. You probably know from the high school years that giving unsolicited advice to your teen can backfire. Pushing too hard often leads to resistance. Instead, try to use a calm, collaborative tone. Let your teen know you’re there to support and guide them, but that they are in control of their own decisions. Approaching conversations this way helps your teen feel respected and more open to brainstorming solutions with you.
- Set goals. Before you can help your teen make changes, it’s important to first understand what they want. Ask about their goals, not just in academics, but in all areas of their life that matter to them. Once you know their priorities, you can work together to map out what steps are needed to get there. This also makes it easier to guide them without feeling like you’re imposing. Some of these steps may be addressed in the tips below.
- Help your teen establish an organizational system. This may sound obvious, but it’s incredibly powerful: having a clear system to track tasks and deadlines is a game changer. Encourage your teen to choose a system that works for them. It could be a paper planner, a phone app, or a calendar on their laptop. The key is sustainability, so expect some trial and error as they experiment. Whatever they choose, the idea is that the system should be sustainable. The goal is to help them feel in control of their time, not overwhelmed by it.
- Encourage your teen to develop a system for completing tasks. College life means that the to-do list is rarely empty. Your teen may feel as if their tasks are never-ending… as one is completed, another is added to the list. Therefore, developing a method for triaging what needs to get completed and by when will be crucial. An approach that balances what is important vs. what is urgent is often a good place to start.
- Discuss all available campus resources with your teen. College campuses offer a lot of support to help your teen succeed. However, students (and parents) often find it difficult to know what resources are available and how to access them. Resources may be academic in nature (e.g., tutoring, office hours, advising, academic accommodations, writing center), mental health related (e.g., student health center, counseling center, skills groups), or logistical (e.g., career services, resident assistants). Knowing what resources to use, when, and how to access them will be essential for ensuring a successful college career. Further, if your teen needs more support than your conversations with them or my book can provide, finding a licensed professional may be a helpful next step. Outside help can be an important part of your teen achieving success.
I hope these tips provide you with a solid starting point in supporting your teen with the transition to and through college. For even more guidance and detailed advice as to how to implement these strategies, check out my book Mastering the Transition to College: The Ultimate Guidebook for Parents of Teens with ADHD. Feature image: photo by Joshua Hoehne via Unsplash. OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world. 
 5 books to master your transition to college [reading list] As the days get cooler and autumn approaches, it’s the perfect time for a fresh start. Back to school is here. Whether your teen is heading off for another year at college or just beginning the transition, we’ve curated a selection of helpful guides to make the journey smoother. These titles are perfect companions for navigating this exciting new chapter. Mastering the Transition to College: The Ultimate Guidebook for Parents of Teens With ADHDSending a teen off to college is a thrilling milestone, but for parents and caregivers of teens with ADHD, it can also bring unique challenges. Mastering the Transition to College is designed to ease those concerns by offering expert advice, practical strategies, and proven tools to help teens thrive both academically and emotionally during this transition. Learn more about Mastering the Transition to College by Michael C. Meinzer College Mental Health 101: A Guide for Students, Parents, and Professionals College Mental Health 101 offers more answers, relief, resources, and research backed information for families, students, and staff already at college or beginning the application process. With simple charts and facts, informal self-assessments, quick tips for students and those who support them, the book includes hundreds of voices addressing common concerns. Learn more about College Mental Health 101 by Christopher Willard, Blaise Aguirre, and Chelsie Green Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health: Science-Based Parenting Strategies for Repairing Relationships and Helping Young People ThriveTeen mental health issues are rising at an alarming rate, and many families are unsure of how to best help their children. Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health is an essential resource for parents and caregivers looking to support teenagers who are struggling with mental health concerns. Written in a conversational tone by psychologist and fellow parent Andrea Temkin-Yu, the workbook is a thorough, evidence-based guide to essential parenting strategies that have been proven to help improve relationships and behavior. Learn more about Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health by Andrea Temkin-Yu If Your Adolescent Has Autism: An Essential Resource for Parents While adolescence can be a tough time for parents and their teens, autistic teenagers may face specific challenges and need targeted support from the adults in their lives. The road ahead can be difficult for parents and caregivers, too, especially because the teenage years can involve surprising changes in their child and in society’s expectations of them. Learn more about If Your Adolescent Has Autism by Emily J. Willingham The Parents’ Guide to Psychological First Aid: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope With Predictable Life Crises Just as parents can expect their children to encounter physical bumps, bruises, and injuries along the road to adulthood, emotional distress is also an unavoidable part of growing up. The sources of this distress range from toddlerhood to young adulthood, from the frustration of toilet training to the uncertainty of leaving home for the first time. Learn more about The Parents’ Guide to Psychological First Aid edited by Gerald P. Koocher, Annette M. La Greca, Olivia Moorehead-Slaughter, and Nadja N. Lopez Check out these books and more on Bookshop and Amazon. Featured image by Tanja Tepavac via Unsplash. OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world. 
 Back to school for happy and healthy kids Every September, caregivers and kids alike prepare for one big change: the start of a new school year. As the weeks of summer draw to a close, families are cramming in the last moments of summer fun while simultaneously gearing up for school drops offs and new classroom schedules. While it can be an incredibly exciting time, filled with first day of school outfits and new school gear, it can also be incredibly stressful. This can be particularly true for teenagers who, compared to younger kids, are facing higher academic demands and social pressure while experiencing the major physical and developmental changes that come during adolescence. On top of that, a 2023 Center of Disease Control report showed that teens of today have higher rates of mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression, and that suicidal thoughts and behaviors are increasing. This can make the return to school daunting for teens, as well as parents who are worried about how their child will manage the transition and demands of the year. Fortunately, there are several tools that parents and caregivers can use to prepare kids and teens for the first few weeks in September. This includes setting clear expectations, skills to encourage helpful behavior, and strategies that help kids feel supported by their parents. Setting expectations While many kids prefer to keep their heads in the sand when it comes to a new academic cycle, it can be incredibly helpful to set expectations for the school year a few weeks in advance. The most basic version of this includes outlining differences between summer versus school schedules, such as changes to sleep and wake times, limits to screens, or daily responsibilities. This preview can help kids’ brains prepare for the upcoming shifts in their daily lives and make the transition a little smoother. It’s also a great idea to talk to kids about how the upcoming school year might be different than the last one. This could include providing information on class size, the structure of the day, or increased expectations. The goal is not to scare your kids about everything coming their way, but rather to provide them with simple clear information in a manner that builds excitement. For example, “It’s so fun that you get to go to go off-campus for lunch this year. I bet it will make the day feel way more interesting!” Or, “I know high school is bigger than middle school. It may feel a little overwhelming, but it’s also such a great time for you to see how capable you are.” Encouraging positive behaviors Once expectations have been set, parents can also work to encourage brave or skillful behavior. This may include things like taking more responsibility (e.g., managing their own communication with teachers and coaches), growing outside of their comfort zone (e.g., joining a new club or social circle), or challenging themselves with new opportunities or roles (e.g., a first job or harder courseload). This most effective way to do this is through a skill called “labeled praise.” Labeled praise is when you show appreciation for a specific behavior or characteristic your child is demonstrating. When it comes to a new school year, parents can look for opportunities to praise preparation, flexibility, and bravery. For example, “I know you really loved your teachers last year, and I appreciate how openminded you are about your new schedule.” Another parent may say, “Great call on getting to bed a little earlier this week. It’ll make the start of school so much easier!” For teens who haven’t mastered brave or skillful choices, parents can offer cheerleading and encouragement. Phrases like “I know you’re going to do a beautiful job making friends because you’ve done it before!” or “10th grade is tough, and I have total confidence that you’re going to find a way to balance everything” send a message that they really believe in their kid. This can go a long way towards encouraging positive behaviors. Providing validation When you do notice your child having a hard time, whether it’s nerves, low mood, or difficulty organizing themselves for a new semester, it’s always a great idea to offer validation. Validation is a skill used to show somebody that you can see their perspective or understand where they are coming from. Validation can be a tricky skill to master for caregivers because it is sometimes hard to put yourself in your child’s shoes, or you are eager to get them to see a new perspective. For example, when your child complains about their new math teacher who they have heard is a hard grader, it’s tempting to say “Nah! I’m sure it’ll be fine!” This may work for some kids. However, it can come off as dismissive and hard to believe for a teen whose anxiety or stress is high. Instead, try validation: “It makes sense that you’re nervous based on what you’ve heard!” While you aren’t agreeing with your child’s worries, you are acknowledging them, and that can help increase a sense of connection and communication. Once your child feels understood, they’ll be better able to think clearly about the situation and problem solve as needed. As you navigate another year of permission slips, homework, and extracurricular activities, remember that you have a handful of tools in your pocket to help ease the way. With a little bit of preparation, encouragement, and support, you and child can start the school year off on a great foot. Feature image: Photo by Wajih Ghali on Unsplash. OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world. 
 The concept of emotional disorder In August 2024, a special report on ‘ecological medicine’ was published in Psychiatry Online. The authors of the report describe ecological medicine as “the structured and deliberate use of connectedness and interaction with plants, animals, and other species to generate a therapeutic effect for individuals.” While few would doubt the value of spending time in the natural world, the suggestion that we need medicine to mediate our connection to nature is a striking one. Surely nothing could be more direct and immediate than the sense of awe we feel when we gaze upon the vast night sky, or the sense of renewal we feel when wandering in a spring meadow? And surely, too, it is more than just our health that is affected by this engagement; we are affected. That the concept of ecological medicine seems to be pointing at something so familiar, and yet seems to be expressing it in such a striking and novel manner, gives us pause to reflect. How have we arrived at a point in our civilisation where it seems sensible to describe as a medical discovery the idea that “other species are worthy of respect”, and that the recognition of inter-species reciprocity that is enabled by participating in ecological medicine “serves to counteract some of the societal elements contributing to society’s epidemic of mental health problems”? This manner of approaching our sense of connection with nature is, arguably, emblematic of a sweeping cultural trend: We appear to be losing our grasp on ways of conceiving of human flourishing other than in medical terms. Today, we speak of ‘mental health’, often treating this as synonymous with the notion of flourishing itself. To accept the notions of ‘mental health’ and ‘flourishing’ as synonymous with each other involves a commitment to the conjunction of the following two claims: C1: To be mentally healthy is to flourish; and C2: To flourish is to be mentally healthy. C1 takes mental health to be sufficient for flourishing, whilst C2 takes it to be a necessary condition. C1 is the stronger of the two claims insofar as it asserts that nothing else—apart from being mentally healthy—is required for human flourishing. C2, unlike C1, allows for the possibility that there may be other conditions besides that of mental health that are also necessary for human flourishing—conditions pertaining to other domains of value such as ethics or aesthetics (domains that are of course salient in our connection with nature). But even the weaker claim, C2, imports a medical connotation into our conception of human flourishing that would have once seemed novel, perhaps even puzzling. Aristotle in the Eudaimian Ethics, for instance, takes health (like wealth or honour) to be a means by which we might come to flourish, rather than as tantamount to flourishing itself. How did this connotation appear, signalling the shift towards the medicalisation of our understanding of what it means to flourish? Here is one story of the origin of this connotation (told by Martin Seligman, a founding father of the positive psychology movement): if (severely) distressing emotional experiences are cast as states of pathology, as contemporary psychiatry does, then it isn’t a huge leap (although it is a substantive one) from this claim to the idea that being in a state opposite to this—that is, enjoying a preponderance of pleasant emotional experiences—amounts to a state of wellness, a state of wellbeing, indeed a state of flourishing. This chain of inference is one of the major paths we have taken that has led us towards the medicalisation of our conception of flourishing. If this is right, then recovering alternate, non-medicalised conceptions of human flourishing, conceptions that might well return to us the expressive power to capture (amongst other things) our immediate connection with nature that we intuit, will involve a dissection of the concept of emotional disorder. What, then, is the basis of the claim that (severely) distressing emotional states constitute states of pathology? From what general concept of disorder is this identification derived, and in light of what conception of our emotional lives might this identification be motivated? Surprising lines of inquiry emerge in the course of this exploration, all of which point to the pivotal role that our emotions play in the myriad ways we appraise our lives and make sense of ourselves. One particular line is worth mentioning here: it is often assumed that the medicalisation of our understanding of human flourishing signifies progress, at least in the sense that it yields an understanding that is informed by scientific knowledge. But this line of inquiry invites us to consider whether human flourishing is something we should seek to understand exclusively in scientific terms (as the invocation of the idea of progress implies). Indeed, is it something we should seek to understand in scientific terms at all? A systematic investigation of the value of emotions in human life suggests that there are visions of human flourishing that invite, indeed compel, not the detachment of the scientific gaze, but our immersion in life through the exercise of our rational agency. It is in appreciating the trade-offs between these alternative conceptions of human flourishing, and the appraisals they lead us to make of our emotional experiences, that we arrive at a clearer reflective understanding of our current predicament. It is in so doing that we may recover our power to express the immediate connection we feel with nature when we plant an acorn and tend its growth. My aim is not to argue in favour of any particular conception of flourishing—and so I do not, for instance, claim that it is a mistake to medicalise our sense of connection with nature. It is rather to display as perspicuously as possible some of the conceptual structures that guide our ongoing quest to live happier and more enlightened lives. This quest has, for the most part, taken a very distinctive shape over the past half century: we pour billions of dollars each year into the enterprise of improving our ‘mental health’. It is ultimately for us to decide, individually and collectively, whether thinking of our flourishing in terms of the notion of ‘mental health’ is a good thing to do—rather than being, merely, something we’ve simply ended up doing. Featured Image by Sébastien Bourguet on Unsplash. OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world. 
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