So the one response without color and in the gray scale was that it has a eerie feeling. Taking it personal, no....the spiritual feeling was amazingly surprising when I encounter the hawk some may think eerie...not this girl.  I had wanted to work on it this weekend more so because of the emotional attachment with the moment that can fade so fast....how do you hang on to it....?  keep having a ground hogs day with the experience I guess.  The moment brought to me to  

Awareness

Signals in Life

Higher Perspective

Keen eye and bold heart

Intuitive-true meaning

Sense of balance

My personality over the years has revealed itself in so many odd ways and well something to admit is I'm a highly sensitive, emotional feeling kind of person with an introverted-ness.  I make decision on how I feel but I have to be aware and look for higher perspective...and there are time when I shoot from the hip and make a real mess of things. The fall is a time for me to do my introspective work...Mindfulness-it has always been.  It's a time to circle over head...

So I seek guidance from many books and a Great Spirit in my life, God, Good Orderly Direction...etc, depends on the day and it's OK we have an agreement that way. 

I see this every morning but from that chair behind the coffee cup looking out.  As I gather another cup to sit down and read more I had to take a picture of my inspiration in the dark morning hours before all wake up. 

Questions to ask myself...where have I shut down my powers of observation on some level?  The parts of life that have become too painful to feel, to unbelievable to hear and took dark to see, it is time to examine the point at which you chose to let yourself become emotionally involved and to no longer be the observer. When you allow your emotions to override your perceptions the message from Hawk cannot penetrate the chaos and confusion. (just a reactive fool is all)  This is from Jamie Sams-Medicine Cards book. continued...At this point, you are asked to be mindful of the honest observer's neutral position, which allows the message to be intuitively and clearly understood, without emotion and coloring the true meaning...some may say, "What?" but this is where I find guidance...being I'm an emotional junkie and been hijacked by my feelings over and over.  Here's the keen eye part.....Emotional coloring is a tendency of Hawk medicine people when they are Off-Balance.   Their emotions cloud their vision and lead to a crash landing...Oh my gosh...I'm a cycle'r of this behavior. And here's the kicker....the boldness of heart, The EGO, can clip the wings and leave Hawk grounded, believing the winged messenger has not understood her medicine.  Goofy as this all sounds...I get it. This all started when Gracie and I were walking in the woods last week and the Hawk flow from the tree downward over my head and then flew upward out of sight. 

Some guidelines to thinking about as I continue this full time whole living life of discovery. 

To open up to the powers of observation

Not to tell others how to think or behave

To take care of your own emotional baggage before you begin receiving omens, visions, and messages

To remember that all gifts are equal in the eyes of the Great Spirit. 

This dark picture is an area in my life that I have to have a keen eye and bold heart.  Yesterday, I felt I was read to view my little exercise guide book in real form...asked my oldest daughter, graphic artists and creative maker too,  how to or what to do next and she noodle around on the printer settings and I was able to print one side and flip the paper around and print the back side and with my long arm stapler stapled this mock up book together. 

It was so awesome to see it in this form...but oh I've got some work to do....Layout alignment and some rewriting of things. I'm excited to be at this stage of the process.  I started in May of this year and it may take till next May to complete it...I just keep showing up and writing the "S%it " rough draft. As Anne Lamont says....It's an experience that my ego doesn't want to be in...and fights...but I'm not listening to it. 

I have this on my studio wall...and I can't say how true this is for me.  If I didn't have art..or embrace the creative maker in myself...I would surely be the walking wounded...Like my art and now life....what's the favorite part....the one I'm working on now! 

Drawn to read this book again....from the book-It's a journey that uncovers the joy, creativity, and empowerment of imperfection through a simple and ancient way of looking at life: the way of Wabi Sabi. From the commonsense insights of Wabi Sabi, we learn that it's not despite our problems but because of them that our hearts hold everything we need to be joyful. We come to see that where we want to go in life is forever found right where we are...

My rock this morning says....I am here.. 

There's a sign for you! 

I went and had pizza....the numbing and comfort of food....which doesn't agree totally with my body. But I did it anyways....had a nights sleep with the new pup wanting to go out around 11:30  then at 2:30 up with someone shooting off fire works and the senior four legged climbing in bed with us....so not a good nights sleep so to say...

But besides that I do my morning pages in my journal and spill out on the page to the point of gratitude which leads to change of attitude.  I heard on the radio about the need for the trades to be vamped back up and how the colleges are struggling and the local colleges with the trades are doing seeing a flow of enrollment....and well I grow up with the men folk being in the trades and how the hands on kind of work was so important way back when and how it so needed now.

Sounds weird but hearing that gives hope to my heart....the human race is an amazing communal being and how we need to work with our hands in some way...from hugs to putting in a huge bolt in a building being built from iron....I believe there is this heavy blanket of odd feelings and fear and Illusion that is upon us that we are trapped...with no choice.  What a phrase to believe that way.   But maybe it has been only me that feels this way...I doubt it though.

The belief of living and having purpose is not solely about $...the "Man" so to say....The fulfillment of more then a sum is where I think we are all heading.   The beauty of life, people and nature with a job that can support the good basics and give you a deep sense of success because the ones that matter most to you are also making it and living with out so many struggles,  then only the falsehood of the Might $- successes of the world.

I don't plan to eat pizza every night....more so staying on a good whole food and living plan.  In the Artist Way...which I'm an addict of Julia Cameron's works...the one thing that sticks out the most is, Learning to be a full-time person in your own life...what does that amount to?  I'm figure it's different on so many levels for each of us. But I see it as something worth looking into for the future.

As I write this I hear my husband pounding on some metal out and I think the forge is going too, there in his creative space making a bracket to hold our new/old sink in place....repurposed the sewing machine table to a base and sink for the bathroom.

And the Midwest Collage Society located out of Darien IL presents a wonderful exhibit of our group works at the Chicago Cultural Center.  

Working the layers of paper now and adding more lines to flow the lines in the hawk itself and adding some words and scrap piece of collage papers...show more later...

 Cutting stencils is a bit more primitive but I do enjoy it. I used these above for  The Danada Herd I did a while back... 36 x 48