Contributed by Karen Cioffi, Children's Writer
With all the information online about writing, I still get clients who start their stories with backstory, boring introductions, or with a number of characters, leaving the reader in the dark as to who the protagonist is.
The beginning of your story, whether a picture book, chapter book, or middle-grade, is to provide the reader with some key information.
1. The story should start with the protagonist.
You need to quickly establish a connection between the reader and the protagonist.
The reader needs to know at the very beginning who’s taking them on the journey, whose point of view they’re privy to.
2. Keep the beginning in the present.
Starting the story with something like:
Alicia looked at herself in the mirror as she thought about her life before. She was a hairstylist in a high-end establishment and loved her job. That is, until her boss took on a partner. Things went downhill from there. Having to quit, it took her six months to find another job. And that job was in a low-end place she swore she’d never work at.
The opening paragraph above is considered information dump. It’s there solely to let the reader know the protagonist’s past.
While some of the information may be important to the story, it shouldn’t be dumped in the beginning.
Instead, you might start it like:
“Hey, Alicia,” called Juan. “Your 3 o’clock is here. I’m sending her back.”
Alicia looked at herself in the mirror. How did this happen? What am I doing in this dead-end job?
This brings us to number three.
3. Start your story with action.
The latter scene in number two is action-related but doesn’t have to start with dialogue.
You might have the protagonist and his best friend arguing.
Josh stood with his arms folded and his eyes narrowed as he watched Branden talk to Mia. What’s he doing talking to her? He knows I like her.
OR …
Josh stood with his arms folded and his eyes narrowed. “I saw you talking to Mia. You know I like her.”
Branden shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
Josh got angrier.
OR …
Max looked at the rock-climbing wall. Man, it’s high. His body tensed as he put his foot on the first rock that jutted out. He looked at the crowd that gathered in the gym to watch him. Why’d I accept this stupid challenge?
OR …
Wang tied the last bundle of wheat and hurled it into the cart. He wiped the back of his neck and then pulled the cart up the hill. Looking back at his father, who leaned on his shovel, hunched over, Wang mumbled, “This is not the life for me.”
The action doesn’t have to be life or death, but it needs to let the reader get an idea of who the protagonist is. It should give the reader something to latch onto.
Editor Mary Kole said, “The underpinning of action is conflict.”
In the first and second scenarios, Josh has a problem with his friend.
In the third scenario, Max is afraid. Maybe he’s afraid of failing or being made fun of if he can’t climb the wall.
In the fourth scenario, Wang, the protagonist in Walking Through Walls, doesn’t want a fate like his father’s. He doesn’t want the back-breaking work and sweat of tending the wheat fields.
These are just one-paragraph examples, but they should give you an idea of how to create effective beginnings for your stories.
Remember, though, that your story beginning should make the reader want to know what’s going on. They should be written to motivate the reader to turn the page.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen Cioffi is an award-winning children’s author, ghostwriter, editor, and coach with clients worldwide. If you need help with your children’s story, please visit Karen Cioffi Writing for Children.
Karen also offers HOW TO WRITE FOR CHILDREN, a self-guided e-course and mentoring program.
And for those children’s authors who are self-publishing, Karen provides WRITERS ON THE MOVE PRESS.
-----
A feature in the right column of this blog lets you subscribe to #SharingwithWriters so you don’t miss any of Karen’s posts on writing for children.
----- MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the multi award-winning author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning #HowToDoItFrugally Series (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTXQL27T/ ) of books for writers including "The Frugal Book Promoter" (https://bit.ly/FrugalBookPromoIII), and "The Frugal Editor" both offered in their third editions by Modern History Press. Others in that series are "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically," and two booklets, both in their second editions also from Modern History Press. The booklets, "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers" (https://bit.ly/LastMinuteEditsII) and "Great First Impression Book Proposals" (https://bit.ly/BookProposalsII) are career boosters in mini doses and both make ideal thank you gifts for authors. The one on writing book proposals is also available as an Audio Book. "The Frugal Editor "(https://tinyurl.com/TheFrugalEditor), was recently released in its third edition. It is the winningest book in this series for writers.
Carolyn also has three frugal books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them understand what is needed to convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques" (https://bit.ly/RetailersGuide). In addition to this blog, Carolyn helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at https://TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (https://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Learn more and follow it to get news on her new releases directly from Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile.
On Authors Hiring Help to Get Reviews
Carolyn's How To Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically From an Author's Email to Me with Her Permission with names omitted to protect some mentioned entities: Hiya, Carolyn:What's your take on [this service that helps authors like me] get reviews? I've been getting emails from [a prominent and trusted writer and author's advocate] who seems to [have a good reputation within the publishing industry]. I also see various publishing packages and promotion stuff for Amazon reviewers/raising listing numbers across the web. They claim to have a number of Amazon reviewers they send an author's manuscript to for a fee and claim this service raises books to top places in the Amazon ranking.
They don't mention if the manuscript has to be current/new book on the site. (I'm thinking of using one of those service one of my clients whose book was published July 2022. This client and I have been platform building, but it's a weird world with his inability to travel or speak even locally interrupted by health issues.
Thanks much for any insights you can offer us on these possibilities!
Cheers and love all I see from and about you, always!
And yes, will be sending you stuff on LinkedIn as you have so often kindly suggested. It's just been odd and very packed schedule lately, in part because we're working on Book two of three in my memoir series.
Cheers and here's to a good weekend!
Best, Anonymous
Answer from Me with My Correspondents Permission with names omitted to protect some mentioned entities: MY DISCLAIMER HERE: I am no expert on the service you mention but you alluded to some information based on your own research.
#1: Are we sure your trusted resource isn't being paid to endorse it? It is common within the industry. I won't do it for services, but I also know she is a trusted personality and getting paid doesn't necessarily mean that her endorsement is fake in any way. #2: You mentioned Amazon's reviews. Their logarithms are extremely good at picking up on any review that is suspect in any way and it seems that many are suspect because the reviewer is in the same industry or known by the publisher or author. (I know because reviews for books like my " The Frugal Editor" get rejected for that very reason (unless they know the ropes and give it four stars rather than five or use a disclaimer!). My argument with that is, who would read a book like mine unless they are part of the publishing industry? And that objection could be true of most any genre and/or published by by the author or a respected publisher. Along that line, if you are pursuing reviews based on getting Amazon reviews, I agree with the concept of doing what is possible to keep them professional but in some instances Amazon's logarithms just aren't that smart. You and your client will benefit from the section in my " How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically" that is rather like a case study on Amazon's reviews (along with about everything else you need to know if you are working on getting reviews for a book--no matter when it was released. My book is still in its first edition--self-published. It is FAT! But the Index can help you find exactly what you are working on in the moment. #3. Any service you use is immediately suspect on the grounds that you can probably do it yourself. Like find reviewers. One way is to simply search Amazon to find reviewers in the same genre as the book you're marketing in the moment. I found a great one I keep in contact with for her reviews and her newsletter. Her name is Jacquelyn Lynn. Look for the links that Amazon often gives on for their reviewers including their Vine reviewers. Click and read the profile that Amazon may have available for them on Amazon itself and elsewhere. I guarantee that what you find will be more targeted for possibilities than what others do for you. You know your book better better than anyone else and will be better able to judge suitability from the possible reviewer's own website or using Amazon's profile for authors and other Amazon contributors. So....do you really want to spend your book marketing budget on getting help with this when the process for doing it yourself is reasonably simple? #4. Keep in mind that these writers aids that work from lists (like Amazon, Amazon-owned Goodreads and other review journals) are notorious for getting possible reviewers that request books but never review them. That amounts to even more wasted money. My book will discuss more on why this happens. Sometimes (rarely) it's because they honestly believe that they can't give the book a fair review, but they generally don't have enough professionalism to let the author know that's their reason--tactfully or otherwise! Professionals, of course, know that authors and publishers actually learn a lot from critical comments in their reviews--or in a rejection/refusal to post the review!
By the way, have you seen several of my #FrugalBookPromoTips (my registered hashtag) about Amazon's new pages available for books in a series if the books are sold as e-books on Amazon? I notice your work-in-progress is a series of XXXX. Here's the URL for my #HowtoDoItFrugally Series of books for writers, but I also just finished working with Amazon on the poetry series I coauthored with Aussie Magdalena Ball: https://tiny.url/FrugalSeries
Many hugs.
PS: I'm always looking for reviews. Amazon's logarithms gets a nudge when your book has a ton of them. I get different stories from different sources but apparently somewhere above fifty. Seventy-five is also frequently mentioned. So, if you're paying for a service and don't manage to hit those magical numbers, you will have wasted not only what you paid for the service, but also what the review copies cost to print and ship. They also only work well if the author uses the link to Amazon's buy page for their book in their marketing. "Books available everywhere" kind of notification just doesn't cut it.
More hugs,
PPS: You did get the message that I am not disqualifying [this service]. Just be sure you want to spend your money on this aspect of your marketing and that your budget will accommodate it. I think really good contests are a better way to set your books apart from the pack, but only if you market your win everywhere! Very best, CAROLYN HOWARD-JOHNSON
The HowToDoItFrugally Series of Books for Writers Including Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips for Writers, 2nd Edition
E-book, paper, or hard cover available on Amazon at tinyurl.com/FrugalSeries
Published by Modern History Press
The New Book Review: A Writer's Digest Best 101 Websites Pick Twitter: @FrugalBookPromo
E-mail: hojonews@aol.com
Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the multi award-winning author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning #HowToDoItFrugally Series (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTXQL27T/ ) of books for writers including "The Frugal Book Promoter" (https://bit.ly/FrugalBookPromoIII), and "The Frugal Editor" both offered in their third editions by Modern History Press. Others in that series are "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically," and two booklets, both in their second editions also from Modern History Press. The booklets, "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers" (https://bit.ly/LastMinuteEditsII) and "Great First Impression Book Proposals" (https://bit.ly/BookProposalsII) are career boosters in mini doses and both make ideal thank you gifts for authors. The one on writing book proposals is also available as an Audio Book. "The Frugal Editor "(https://tinyurl.com/TheFrugalEditor), was recently released in its third edition. It is the winningest book in this series for writers.
Carolyn also has three frugal books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them understand what is needed to convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques" (https://bit.ly/RetailersGuide). In addition to this blog, Carolyn helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at https://TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (https://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Learn more and follow it to get news on her new releases directly from Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile. 
 I thought my #SharingwithWriters subscribers and visiting peeps would like to see this cross-promotional effort offered by my publisher Modern History Press as both a gift idea for the holidays and as an example of how a two-fer offer can become a vehicle for great cross-promotion.
Authors or publishers can use this idea to incrementally boost exposure for their books. These kinds of promotions allow smaller numbers of authors to participate than the traditional ones (like participating in larger promotions like salons or bookstore signings) and it generally take less time. In this case there are three participants: Publisher Modern History Press who provided the web page. Diana Raab, author of inspiring books. And I. You don't have to buy. Just come check it out at https://modernhistorypress.com/two-great.
In a way this is a double two-fer. Maybe more. It can be used as a holiday special, an anniversary offer, and about any other kind of celebration you can think of. Is there such a thing as a National Authors' Day? I'll have to check!
You may decide to feed your own writing soul with this offer of a how-to book to boost your career and and Diana's "Writing Bliss" to inspire you to even in greater things. (-: Check it out. For both gifting and book marketing idea at https://modernhistorypress.com/two-great.
This comes with special thanks to my publisher, Modern History Press. Victor Volkman is always willing to try to something a little different. But this could be done by two self-published authors, too.
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the multi award-winning author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning #HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including "The Frugal Book Promoter" (https://bit.ly/FrugalBookPromoIII), now offered in its third edition by Modern History Press. Others in that series are "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically," the new third edition of " The Frugal Editor," and two booklets, both in their second editions also from Modern History Press.
The booklets, "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers" (https://bit.ly/LastMinuteEditsII) and "Great First Impression Book Proposals" (https://bit.ly/BookProposalsII) are career boosters in mini doses and both make ideal thank you gifts for authors. The one on writing book proposals is also available as an Audio Book. Carolyn also has three frugal books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them understand what is needed to convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques" (https://bit.ly/RetailersGuide).
In addition to this blog, Carolyn helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at https://TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (https://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com).
Learn more and follow for news on her new releases directly from Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile.
Contributed by Karen Cioffi, Children's Writer Years ago, a client told me that I don’t write for the client; I don’t even write for myself; I write for the reader.
This was in regard to a picture book I wrote for the client, and it’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.
This is how every author should write.
Two key points when writing for children are: Write for the reader and take professional advice.
At this point in my writing career, I’ve probably written around 350 stories, between ghostwriting and rewriting. Most of them are ghostwritten.
That’s a lot of clients. And even though I’ve had a number of series clients and return clients, all-in-all, I’ve dealt with at least 300 individual clients.
And I’m most likely underestimating this.
My point, though, is that most authors, especially new authors or wanna-be-authors, don’t realize the importance of writing for the reader, especially the child reader.
So, what exactly does this mean?
A perfect example of this is a young adult story I’m currently working on. It’s over 100,000 words and is engrossing, but it’s also very complicated.
I’m working with the client for around nine months or so, and a running problem keeps coming up: he writes for himself. He knows what every character’s backstory is – every little detail.
-He knows the story’s backstory.
-He knows the history of the story topic intimately.
-He knows why Character Z is evil.
-He knows how the enemy is getting their information.
-He knows how the next two books in the trilogy will pan out.
The problem…
The reader doesn’t know. And, the client more than occasionally throws in something that the reader will get lost on.
The client can’t grasp that the reader can’t read his mind.
It’s easy to fall into this hole.
It’s super easy to get caught in this scenario, especially if it’s a long story and you’re writing independently.
Again, you know what you intend. You know what’s happening – you know the why to what’s happening. But this doesn’t mean the reader will unless you clue them in.
To give a more straightforward example, suppose a story has four brothers battling an enemy, but it’s mentioned somewhere that there are five brothers. The fifth brother is mentioned vaguely in a very brief scene, then just disappears.
The author knows who the fifth brother is, where he is, how he vanished, and why he vanished. The author thinks it’s important to mention the fifth brother because that brother will play a big part in another book. The problem, again, the reader doesn’t know any of this.
The reader will begin to wonder. Who’s the fifth brother? Why was he there and then vanished? What is his place in the story? She’ll possibly get annoyed that the author even mentioned the fifth brother.
You don’t want the reader to feel she’s left out of the loop or that the story is too complicated for her. Give the reader what she needs to be engaged in the story and on top of it.
Funny, but writing this, I’m not even sure if I’m being clear enough. I know what I’m trying to say; I hope it translates over.
Readers are savvy and can read between the lines as long as the author provides enough clues or information.
Write with clarity. Don’t expect the reader to be a mind reader.
Finally, if you’re working with a professional editor, rewriter, or ghostwriter, take her advice, especially when it’s on something that just makes sense. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen Cioffi is an award-winning children’s author and children’s ghostwriter, editor, and coach with clients worldwide. If you need help with your children’s story, please visit: Karen Cioffi Writing for Children.
In addition, she offers self-publishing help for children’s authors. To learn more, you can visit WRITERS ON THE MOVE PRESS.
Karen also offers HOW TO WRITE FOR CHILDREN, a self-guided ecourse and mentoring program.
----- A feature in the right column of this blog lets you subscribe to #SharingwithWriters so you don’t miss any of Karen’s posts on writing for children.
-----
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the multi award-winning author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning #HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including "The Frugal Book Promoter" (https://bit.ly/FrugalBookPromoIII), now offered in its third edition by Modern History Press. Others in that series are "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically," "The Frugal Editor" and two booklets, both in their second editions also from Modern History Press.
The booklets, "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers" (https://bit.ly/LastMinuteEditsII) and "Great First Impression Book Proposals" (https://bit.ly/BookProposalsII) are career boosters in mini doses and both make ideal thank you gifts for authors. The one on writing book proposals is also available as an Audio Book. "The Frugal Editor "(https://tinyurl.com/TheFrugalEditor), was recently released in its third edition. It is the winningest book in this series for writers.
Carolyn also has three frugal books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them understand what is needed to convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques" (https://bit.ly/RetailersGuide).
In addition to this blog, Carolyn helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at https://TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (https://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com).
Learn more and follow for news on her new releases directly from Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile.
Superheroes and heroines abound in television shows, movies, stories, and comics. Such fun it is for writers to think of a character with special powers to solve story problems. Every story has a problem the characters want to solve, and who better than a super person to swoop in and make everything right again?
Even superheroes have problems of their own. Mostly, they are able to solve them when we are watching a film or reading a book. What could this hero be thinking? Either use the text prompt provided or think of your own story idea.
This character is from a Pixabay.com download. At least, I don't think he is in any stories I know about. What might his special powers be? This could be a serious or comical answer.
This character looks rather sinister, and again I am unaware that this is anything but an image from Pixabay. Did you realize some of the images I selected this month were AI generated? Yes, they were. And Pixabay has more AI generated clip art. If your students or group has access to computers, they could search for their own characters to write about.
Yes, this one is also AI generated art, but we know what this character does. So this might be easier for some writers to use for a writing warm-up.
Now the issue of twin heroines who have different special powers! What are their talents? How do they help others?
And of course, the coloring page for any one who would rather color. It could be used as a wordless prompt, also.
Thank you for reading, Carolyn Wilhelm and
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the multi award-winning author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning #HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including "The Frugal Book Promoter" (https://bit.ly/FrugalBookPromoIII), now offered in its third edition by Modern History Press. Others in that series are "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically," "The Frugal Editor" and two booklets, both in their second editions also from Modern History Press.
The booklets, "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers" (https://bit.ly/LastMinuteEditsII) and "Great First Impression Book Proposals" (https://bit.ly/BookProposalsII) are career boosters in mini doses and both make ideal thank you gifts for authors. The one on writing book proposals is also available as an Audio Book. "The Frugal Editor "(https://tinyurl.com/TheFrugalEditor), was recently released in its third edition. It is the winningest book in this series for writers.
Carolyn also has three frugal books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them understand what is needed to convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques" (https://bit.ly/RetailersGuide).
In addition to this blog, Carolyn helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at https://TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (https://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com).
Learn more and follow for news on her new releases directly from Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile.
More Recent Articles
|
