I've been 'suffering' from stress and anxiety for almost 2 years now (possibly longer) and some days are easy and I find people I can talk to and projects to work in and I'm ok as long as I keep busy.
Today isn't one of those days, it's a day where everything in my head and body is screaming. I'm not even sure what's different about today. I've looked after my mum and son as I always do, I've taken some me time (I attend a salt cave for medical reasons a couple of times a week) which involved something between sleep and meditation, even come up with some new projects to work on while having my 'me time'.
I've had about 2 weeks, maybe more, of feeling cold and shivering, yet being cozy and even sweating. It's really confusing my mind and body.
People see stress and anxiety and say "well everyone gets stressed, it's healthy" it's only healthy until you stop coping with extreme levels of stress. As I said, good days and bad days, the anxiety is caused by being stressed, yes I know, smoking and caffeine don't help, but they keep me going, most of the time.
I've no clue how I'm even going to sleep this evening. Don't know which way to turn as I was signed off by Health in Mind earlier this year and can't find my login details for it any more for one 'last fling' on the website to see what I can still achieve. I'm even a little scared to go to bed, "oh, I'll just do this first and make sure my sons asleep and, oh finish this game, and I'll write a blog post..." you get the idea, but most of it isn't achieving anything, it's just excuses to not sleep. I don't know even why I'm putting off sleep? I enjoy sleeping, means I don't have to think about anything :)
Anyway, hopefully my next Madness post won't be quite so "crazy" haha!
So for now, I'll sign off and pretend to be human...
As much as I love running my shop with all it's spiritual and pagan paraphernalia, I'm debating with myself about creating a real-world spiritual haven with the ability to just come and sit, maybe have coffee or tea, read a book, browse real products etc. but I'm struggling for funding and would love you, my dedicated fans and readers to help me with some ideas.
This is a massive collection of new products I've just added to the website in the last week and I'd forgotten how much I love looking at and playing with all the new products.
When you try and enjoy something, you don't wanna be thinking about what you're wearing, or age, your background/ethnicity and all that nonsense... You just want to go out there and enjoy. This video https://www.facebook.com/dancingastronaut/videos/1002281746483444/ inspired me.
Apologies to all those who don't have Facebook.
I hope my readers/fans are well and happy.