Highlighting the non-existent negative is confusing.
“Don’t be late,” isn’t as useful as, “We’re going to leave on time.”
“I don’t want to be rude, but…” can easily be replaced by simply saying something that isn’t rude.
And of course, “with all due respect…” is often the preface to something said without due respect.
Professionals take their work seriously.
Hobbyists can take it personally.
We arrive and make a promise. We do it on behalf of the client, and that promise has little to do with what we might want to do–it’s what they need us to do.
And so we make our promises carefully, and keep them with effort. That’s serious.
But it’s not personal.
A dog gets fed and thinks his person is an omniscient, benevolent being.
A cat gets fed and thinks it is.
How we see ourselves in this analogy is actually up to each of us, every day. It also tells us a bit about how we think about customers, vendors, and partners.
You’re flying over Mount Rainier and a hole opens up in the bottom of your airplane. In that moment, you think hard about what you’ve done, what you’re doing, and what matters.
My friend Ty actually had this happen. In that moment, she decided to stop wasting her days on a career that pleased her family, and committed, if she survived, to quit and go build something that mattered to her.
Of course, in the months that followed, honoring the commitment was hard. If it were easy, she would have done it far sooner.
But it’s an oath. The sort of promise you don’t negotiate.
The really cool thing is that you don’t need to avoid a possible plane crash to wake up, see what’s going on in your life and take an oath. You can do it simply because it’s May 13th.
What a chance we each have. To take agency, to make a deal and to honor it. Don’t wait for an excuse to care enough to take an oath. Simply begin.
Long after the fact, these are the best kind. They remind us of how far we’ve come. They’re proof that not giving up was a good idea. They are fuel for the next thing.
But, at the time, they’re pretty hard to live with.
All we can do is remind ourselves that it’s an unskippable part of a useful journey.
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