There are times, when I haven't been reminded of some humorous incident from my childhood or when it's not a particular holiday or it's not time to write about the next song in Rolling Stone's list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time," when I just sit down at the keyboard and start typing...and hope that something worthwhile spills out through my fingertips.
Any post under the tag "improvisation" is created that way.
Often, I end up writing a poem. Even if it's not funny, the fact that it rhymes will impress enough people to get a few clicks. At least that's the idea.
But now, here I am, four paragraphs deep into a piece of prose with no prior planning or an inkling of an idea of what to say...and my hope that something worthwhile spills out through my fingertips seems to be absolutely groundless.
Like a bottomless pit.
Like a bag of roasted coffee beans.
Like the accusation that I'm independently wealthy and more handsome than Brad Pitt.
The orange powder left on your hands after eating Cheetos is called "cheetle".
The two main male characters of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and Leonard, were named in honor of the actor who played Nick the Bartender in It's a Wonderful Life.
According to a producer I know, Miley Cyrus can't carry a tune...at all.
The stories that say Karen Carpenter was on a popcorn-only diet are unsubstantiated rumors.
James Taylor's first single, "Carolina in My Mind," was released on The Beatles' Apple Records.
Before going through Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time, I had never heard of I Know You Got Soul, by Eric B and Rakim. And it never showed up on any Billboard charts, either.
So why is it on this list of greatest songs ever?
Must have a beautiful melody, right?
Wrong.
It's an old school rap: Rhythmic talking over a sterile beat and a few record scratches.
Well then, the lyric must be amazing, right?
Wrong.
Consider the world-changing opening foursome:
It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you
Without a strong rhyme to step to
Think of how many weak shows you slept through
Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you
Yeah...well...I'm sorry, too. Sorry I hung around long enough to listen to the whole waste of megabits.
And I feel that from the bottom of the soul I got.
Two Face Federal Charges in 900-pound Meth Bust Man! What cup size would that be?
Wheelchair Games Draw Veterans from 41 States "Look! In this one, I've got the drill sergeant actually smiling."
With Scores Still Missing, a Quest to 'Find Every Soul' Fans of the Ghost Hunters television series will be glad to know the show will continue, even without background music.
GOP Wants Larger Field in Race for Governor ...otherwise, the runners will always be turning, with no straightaways at all.
Democrats Attack Trump's Tax Bill Led by Arizona Senator Ruben Gallego, the attack started by coming up the bill's right flank and then sweeping across its path with a barrage of amendments.
U.S. Stocks Back Off Slightly from Highs "Health reasons" were given as the catalyst for smoking less dope.
Senators Press UHG After Latest Hack "Once again," said Senator Imma Taylor, "the person we hired for the job failed. He left the UHG so wrinkled, we just had to do the job ourselves."
One week from today will be three days before you see this and I will be four days into a trip. A trip a-way out west between Billings and Phoenix (as if you all could even give a rip)
The day after you read this some nuptials will be celebrated by a couple unknown to you She's a grandniece of Beloved He's a fella, highly-rated and I'm going for the barbecue
Two weeks from today our journey will be ended We'll pull into our drive once more Perhaps I'll wish these dates could be amended More likely, I'll collapse down to the floor
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