Marco SansPolo (MSP), the relatively tiny, rat-like creature that passes for a dog in the Roth Haus, got uncharacteristically active the other day. He went all "My Ancestors Were Wolves!" on a pair of baby bunnies in our back yard.

One bunny was rendered bloody, immobile, and breathing in shallow gasps, leaving me the inglorious task of putting him out of his misery. The second seemed not so much injured as just frozen in fear.

When I bent down to give Bunny Number Two a closer look, she scampered away and, perhaps thinking it was a tunnel to a land devoid of giant bloggers, ran into an empty flower pot that was resting on its side. It was a small flower pot, but the rabbit kept working her legs as if still running away, even though her head was firmly pressed against the bottom of the flower pot.

That's when the single egg that hadn't been found by the grandkids on Easter popped out of the pot.

Beloved and I tried to be sad for the plight of the bunnies, but we couldn't stop laughing for a good two minutes.

        

Sam Cooke fiddled with the lyrics of the Herb Alpert/Lou Adler song, "Wonderful World,"  and created a huge hit.

He also admitted to being far from the sharpest pencil in the box:

I mean...instead of "Wonderful World," shouldn't it be titled "Imma Dunce"?

And having admitted all this ignorance, why would a young woman believe he has the insight and forethought to be able to say:

Then again, according to Rolling Stone, "Before it came out, Cooke liked to sing it for women he met, telling them he'd made it up on the spot just for them."

Maybe he's not as stupid as he's making himself out to be.

        

Real Headlines. Fake News.

U.S.Unexpectedly Loses 92,000 Jobs
In a press release, a spokesperson for the Labor Department said, "I put them right here and only turned my head away for a second!"

Millions Across Western Cuba Wake Up Without Power
Secretary of the Interior, Manuel Jose Hernandez: "¡Estoy tan cansado! ¡No tengo energía!"

Big Ten's Loaded Heavyweight Division Tests Gophers' Hopke
Minnesota freshman, Koy Hopke: "It will take everything I've got, but I'm gonna annihilate those fat drunks."

Massive Boom Heard from Ohio to Kentucky
Wow. That far, eh?

Maduro Asks Judge to Toss Drug Case
"Just throw it into the van there."

Man Accused of Killing Florida Woman with Hammer Faces Deportation
And yet, M.C. Hammer is still at large.

US and Iran Exchange Fire in Strait of Hormuz, Endangering Ceasefire
Um . . . pretty sure that firing at each other does more than just endanger the ceasefire, doesn't it? (Unless the fire they exchanged was sharing a match to light their cigars)

Bus and Pickup Truck Turn into House in South Minneapolis
A nearby man, dressed in a black suit with a cape and a tophat, is quoted as saying, "Presto Chango!"

Bill to Make Grooming a Crime Heading to Minnesota Senate Floor
Apparently, the state has had QUITE enough of all this hair-cutting and nail-trimming going on.

        

All it would take is a single typo to completely change some of the greatest musical acts of all time.

Would anybody pay money to hear:

• The Why  -  ♫♪ "He's a pinball philosopher, there has to be a reason..."
• Talking Herds  -  If cows could speak
• Curtis Mayfiend  -  The first African-American punk star
• Nine Inch Sails  -  Industrial rock played on tiny boats
• James Tailor  -  ♫♪ "Oh, I've seen shirts, and I've seen pants..."
• Guns 'n Hoses  -  Like Village People, only everyone is either a cop or a firefighter
• Toe Petty  -  Music for those with a foot fetish
• Slack Sabbath  -  A band of non-practicing Jews
• Blue Öyster Colt  -  ♫♪ "Don't rear at the mollusk"

• Smashing Bumpkins  -  The soundtrack for tractor demolition derbies
• Earth Wino & Fire  -  There's one in every trio
• R2  -  Known for "These Still Aren't the Droids That You're Looking For"

• The Toasters  -  ♫♪ "Why's everybody always butterin' me?"
• Brood Sweat & Tears  -  Proving that chickens DO perspire and cry
• Pears Jam  -  Music to preserve fruit by
• The Beach Toys  -  Actually, this doesn't change things all that much
• Eaglet  -  ♫♪ "Welcome to the Preschool California..."
• The Polite  -  With their big hit, "If It's Not Too Much Trouble, Could You Please Stand Further Away From Me?"

        

"Brown-Eyed Handsome Man" was written and performed by Chuck Berry, and never made the charts. But it was apparently well-known enough to inspire cover versions by both Buddy Holly and Waylon Jennings.

According to Rolling Stone, "Berry was inspired to write this song while he was touring through heavily black and Latino areas of California. As Berry put it, 'I didn't see too many blue eyes.' He did see a good-looking Chicano nabbed for loitering until 'some woman came up shouting for the policeman to let him go'."

I wonder how the song would have gone had he seen me in my natural habitat...

Resting on his haunches while "working from home"
He was sitting in front of a fan
Then his wife called down from the kitchen upstairs
"Are you busy, green-eyed writer man?
I need a favor from my green-eyed writer man."

Flying upstairs like a bat outta heck
Hoping romance was part of the plan
She just couldn't reach something on a top shelf
Like that green-eyed writer man
He's so much taller, yeah, that green-eyed writer man.

Drinking Dr Pepper, eating CornNuts,
Enjoying as much as he can
There's never ever been any ifs, ands, or buts
From that green-eyed writer man,
It's a lot of quirks with that green-eyed writer man.

Beautiful music from the 70s and back
Lyrics like the back of his hand.
Not much else swirling 'round in the mind
Of that green-eyed writer man
He's full of earworms, he's a green-eyed writer man.

Of course, you know there's a serious side
He loves Jesus and the Gospel plan
And the joy in his heart can't help but spill out
Of this green-eyed writer man
Humor is healthcare for this green-eyed writer man.