This will be my last post on this particular blog. It's not been a "safe" place for me for years. Too many people read it that would like to hurt me. The new blog that I will be starting will be by invite only. It will not be open to the public. You can request that I add you but if you have any association with my father or my ex-husband, you will be denied. I will not have a sarcastic comment or joke that I make being used against me later. This has truly been one of the hardest years of my life and I just don't want to give anyone, any reason to make it any harder.
I hate my job. I wake up every day wishing I could just quit or that they would find some reason to fire me. I'm wondering if there's a way for me to quite my job and go back to school and get my BA in veterinary medicine without starving to death. If I didn't have kids, I'd have already done it. I have to find some way out of what has become my every day hell. I tried to get up with a positive attitude and find something that was good about my job but when every word you type makes you want to drive off a cliff, it's kind of hard to look at the positive.
If you are easily (or hell, even not so easily) grossed out... you may want to turn your back on this entry. I will get back to the 30 days meme. I had pneumonia and pleurisy for two weeks so my life was quite literally put on hold.
At some point while I was sick, Jake, aka cat from hell, aka fire kitty, had gotten out of my bedroom and lost the usual fight with my mom's kitty. A week or so later, I noticed he looked a little funny. The right side of his head was swollen and tender. Not the first time he's gotten an abscess from a cat fight. Eventually they get big enough that they pop open on their own and then are easily drained over the course of several days. I don't recommend this if you've never had to deal with a cat abscess before. I was concerned that it wouldn't open before this weekend (when I don't have the kids, I stay the weekend at my boyfriend's house, coming home briefly to feed the animals) so I used a syringe to make a small hole, however I wasn't able to get much drainage from it. A few days later, it popped on it's own. No animal enjoys having a pus filled wound squeezed and pinched to try to remove all the infection and then having a syringe full of water put in that same wound. I opened the wound daily and drained it repeatedly. Saturday, I left it alone as Jake was getting rather volatile. I knew I'd be home Sunday and could re-open it then if needed. I waited till the kids were asleep to take Jake in the bathroom and begin the process. He had a scab on his head where the first abscess had popped but I thought it was just from scratching. While I was using a warm cloth to soften the scabs so they would be easier to remove, the scab on his head came off. You know it's bad when I have to pause and turn my head for a moment. Holy cow that was a big wound. I moved on to where the infection remained. The scabs came off rather easily but nothing was coming out. I could feel that there was still infection on the side of his head. I figured the wound had healed too much and nothing could pass through. I massaged the area for a minute and when I was getting ready to try a different method, it happened. *shudder* A steady stream of pus and blood shot out of his neck. I had to stop and hold pressure to his neck before I could continue. I hope like hell tomorrow is less explosive than today. I don't know how much of that my stomach can handle on a regular basis.