Why do we allow ourselves to be poisoned? We have been content to subject ourselves to toxins in favorite foods no less.

I was glad to see that New York State has banned the manufacture and sale of potassium bromate in flour which is already banned in California, Canada, China, the European Union, UK and India. It won’t be removed, for example, in our bagels and pizza–which use this additive–until next year. It improves the performance of dough in commercial baking.

And there is a cousin of poisons in food– flavored vapes that are thought will be especially enticing to young people. “The F.D.A. issued new guidance that could pave the way for major tobacco companies to begin selling flavored vapes and to snare a chunk of the $6 billion e-cigarette market away from illegal Chinese competitors. The new policy bypassed the F.D.A.’s regular rule-making process,” Christina Jewett and Kenneth P. Vogel wrote in The New York Times. The title of their article, “With a Friend in Trump, the Tobacco Industry Secures a Lucrative Win,”

Regarding the potassium bromate, what about the rest of the States? Shouldn’t they ban it too? Will pizza and bagel sales plummet in New York waiting for the law to kick in in 2027? How come so many other countries have forbidden it and we haven’t?

The title of the New York Times article explains why we can expect to see flavored vapes on the market. Why aren’t they banned or strictly controlled by exorbitant pricing regardless of where they are made?

   

Coincidences fascinate me. My mother’s next-door neighbors–husband and wife–shared the same birthday. Babies born naturally on an important date for the family—a grandpa’s birthday for example—are marvels.

I often will begin to text someone when the phone rings and it’s them. ESP? Coincidence?

On the anniversary of the day I met my husband a memory inspired this post about an incident after we started dating.

When we met, Homer worked and lived in Manhattan and I lived in Brooklyn. He would take a car service to pick me up for dinner in Manhattan. About a year later he was in a car service vehicle on his way to the airport leaving from his NYC office. The driver said, “I remember you. What ever happened to the woman you picked up in Brooklyn—I was your driver–and then I dropped you off at a restaurant in the city?” [Did he eavesdrop on our conversation? Did he see Homer reach for my hand for the first time? Did he suspect something lovely was happening?]

“I married her,” said Homer.

Do you have fun coincidences to share?

   

A friend grumbled the other week because he’d poured his soul into a proposal and when he followed up the recipient said, “I just wanted to know the price. Thanks. I’m hiring a local company.”

The most blatant example that happened to me involved someone I had worked with at a different company–and I trusted–who upon receiving my proposal said, “This is great. I’ll hand it to my staff. Great roadmap. They are terrific and will carry it out. Thanks.”

I always wondered if there are repercussions for this type of business behavior. Legal? Yes. Ethical? No.

Then there are those who barge to the front of a line at a store. You say, “Excuse me, there’s a line.” Their response, “I just wanted to know….”

Have you bumped into situations like this?

   

ASK, who writes great comments here, suggested a topic based on a recent New York Times column in “The Ethicist.” She wrote “Philip Galanes had a letter from someone who did not want to attend the graduation of a young relative from the Naval Academy because of the current administration. I was aghast that someone would even consider such a move…And I wonder how your readership feels. (By the way, I liked Galanes’s answer.)”

As background she wrote, “I am always surprised at questions dealing with that subject. I have close friends who run the range of views from arch conservative to progressive. When with those whose views I don’t share, I don’t discuss politics because I know I am not going to change anyone’s opinion.”

Galanes wrote to the reader aunt: “But elected officials come and go, and it would be wrong to conflate politicians with the brave men and women who dedicate their lives to defending our country in the armed services. The president may be commander in chief, but only until the next one is sworn into office.”

And “I understand your ambivalence about attending a ceremony that features a speaker with whom you may disagree strongly. So, how about excusing yourself for that portion of the ceremony (provided that the actual speaker this year is objectionable to you)? If attending is still impossible, make sure to explain your absence to your niece in a way that distinguishes politics from the greater cause to which she is dedicating her young life.”

The topic is bigger than one aunt and her niece as ASK pointed out. It reflects the terrible place we are in right now. If a person as seemingly intelligent as this aunt who is proud of her niece and loves her, can’t sit through a graduation speech, we are in worse shape than I thought. It’s also up to the polarizing voices to tone down the rhetoric so cooperation and progress can commence.

Someone has to be the grownup.

Echoes of this intransigent point of view impact speakers booed off stages of universities or disinvited to speak because not everyone in the institution is on board.

How are we going to build bridges, fill gaps, learn once again to live and work together for the better of all?

   

A friend and loyal reader of this blog, Nancy Farrell, inspired this post—suggested the topic in fact–in one of her comments.

She wrote: “What you experienced with the moderator was what my dad used to call ‘NIH’ for ‘Not Invented Here.’” Her father owned one of the PR agencies I worked for and is top of my best boss/best PR person list.

She continued: “It’s what happens when people reject any and all ideas or help unless they think of it or do it themselves. I had an idea for an event at one job that was dismissed outright. Imagine my surprise when months later I opened the newspaper describing that very event that had taken place! My then-boss said she didn’t remember whose idea it was. I told her that I remembered perfectly well but that I was glad that they took my idea and added to it and made it even better.”

I’ve known people like this as recently as now but I won’t go into that example. At one agency some of the staff was asked to blue sky marketing and PR ideas for a woman affiliated with the firm. She was difficult. Some would describe her as nasty on a good day. Downright insulting. Instead of listening and nodding to ideas she’d shred the idea and person who had made it into as many slices as she could. I hated being asked to attend one of these.

I would propose ideas to a past boss which he would nix out of the box. A few weeks later I’d say, “Remember that idea you mentioned about XYZ? I’ve been thinking about it and wonder if this might work.” I’d add a tiny element. Nine out of 10 times we’d go with it. He never remembered where it came from and I didn’t care as long as we could do it.

Have you worked as a volunteer or employee with NIH-ers?