I popped into a CVS on a broiling afternoon to buy water as I’d stupidly left home without a bottle. I asked a clerk, who was dealing with boxes of merchandise, if he could open it for me as the top wouldn’t budge and I didn’t have a rubberband handy. As he gave it back I said, “So easy! Of course I loosened it up.” This robust young man responded: “I always say that.” We both laughed.

Sometimes bus drivers are patient and wait for a passenger, [plenty don’t]; the door staff at my apartment building are welcoming and helpful and as tiring as standing at a cash register all day must be, grocery store clerks at some stores are anxious to please and share a laugh.

So often I have pleasant exchanges and yet there’s the drumbeat that echoes an Oprah podcast headline: “We’ve Never Been Meaner. Here’s Why.”

I have only the promo to go by as I don’t subscribe to her podcast, but I get the gist and can’t disagree with how difficult it must be for frontline employees such as flight attendants, emergency medicine doctors, fast food workers, baristas and influencers.  One of each is interviewed in the podcast. They talk about the extreme levels of rudeness they experience at work and online, according to the promo.

Oprah and one of the experts, Dr. Jay Van Bavel, professor of psychology and neuroscience at NYU, and the director of the NYU Center for Conflict and Cooperation, delved into the subject. Dr. Van Bavel broke down what is causing this rise in incivility and shared some ideas about how we can all do better.

Copilot Search shared these highlights. Dr. Van Bavel says, “humans haven’t suddenly become worse — the social environment has changed in ways that make incivility more likely.” He pointed to stress and inequality, social media and leaders modeling contempt. According to Copilot Search, “In the Oprah Winfrey conversation, Dr. Van Bavel also noted the role of AI in harming relationships, reality TV normalizing bad behavior, and the normalization of rudeness in public spaces”

Do you think we’ve never been meaner, or have we always been grouchy and short-tempered? Was our bad behavior not captured and amplified as much in the past?

   

When it comes to ladies’ rooms, women are lucky today. Architects responsible for public spaces such as movie houses or theaters put in a generous lineup of stalls. In the old days before and after a show the line for the one or two was a sin. For a reminder of the old days, visit older Broadway theaters and concert halls.

In another example of smart change I saw construction workers painting the roof of an adjacent building bright white [Photo above]. In the day I lived in a wonderful apartment in Brooklyn Heights with working fireplace, skylight in one of two bathrooms, two bedrooms, a dining room and a view of the East River from the kitchen window. In summer the place was a caldron because it was on the top floor under a black tar roof. We offered to paint it and buy the pain, but the landlord refused to let us.

Nevertheless, these days, I sometimes wonder where the architect or product designer has been or the contractor or business owner overseeing a project.

In the lobby of a major NYC medical facility is an elevator call board that is confusing enough to require instruction arrows for up and down. [Photo right.]

The layout of the floor selection board in my apartment’s elevators confounds many of us. [Photo below.] It can take a nanosecond or two to find the floor of a package laden neighbor.

A neighborhood coffee shop that doesn’t want to pay to change the step in to a ramp. It tells wheelchair bound customers to ring a bell [that doesn’t work] or to inquire within for assistance. And how will this person manage that?

A block from me is an apartment building that spans from 39th to 40th streets on Second Avenue that for at least five years has paid for scaffolding. The architect in charge isn’t on top of the project. It’s great for pedestrians on snowy or rainy days but the cost must put a big dent in the building’s maintenance budget. I once lived in a poorly managed co-op, but we put a stop to the scaffolding snafu soon enough.

Have you noticed wonderful changes or glitch decisions by architects, business owners or product designers?

   

I had to look up hornswoggle when Senator Sheldon Whitehouse used it in a Facebook post. It means to get the better of someone by cheating.

The butler on “Downton Abbey,” Carson, called one of his employees a hobbledehoy–a clumsy, awkward, or gawky youth. PBS is replaying the series on NY and Long Island stations.

Some other words we don’t often use, yet I’ve heard, except the last one, include cattywampus, flapdoodle, fiddle-faddle and fiddlesticks [I use these two], hoosegow, weisenheimer, and bumfuzzle, [to confuse].

Do you use or remember any fun, vintage or regional words?

   

These scams were new to me.

Impersonation Con

Seems that there’s an impersonation scam targeting authors for the most part in which the scofflaws, pretending to be producers, editors or hosts of WNYC shows, are offering to get the recipient an interview on The Brian Lehrer Show–and others–for a fee or contribution.

WNYC makes it clear that it doesn’t charge a cent to the people it gives airtime, nor does it pass along any other fees such as production or promotion costs.

The emails are convincing. They look like they come from a WNYC account, but they are from a Gmail account. With the help of AI they may mention the title of the recipient’s work and are not filled with telltale spelling and punctuation errors so typical of earlier scam copy.

Vanity License Plate Trick

Someone cloned an acquaintance’s Maryland vanity license plate. He received violations mostly in D.C. and Prince George’s County. None were his. The plate clone had been placed on another car that willy nilly had its way with rules and laws at no cost to the scammer.

In addition to having to fight each of some 20 summonses and violations, he ended up selling his car and changing his license plate to put an end to the nightmare. He said the same thing happened to a friend in New York. This ripoff has been going on for quite some time. I only learned of it a few months ago.

Have you heard of any new, creative scams?

   

I was surprised that procrastination showed up only once on the blog—October 2016–since 2008, in the categories covered on this blog. I used to do everything yesterday which is probably why I’m a little more relaxed now so it can take longer than it should to send a thank you or condolence note/contribution or respond to an email, [unless it’s from a client or media], or even a text.

I’m not sure whether I should just send the check, email or response and not mention the lag time or come up with an excuse.

Some of those excuses might be:

• I’ve been juggling a few deadlines but have thought of ___’s death daily since last month.
• I love looking at ______ [the gift] and can’t imagine why I didn’t share my enthusiasm with you before now.
• What great news about _________. I thought I responded because I was so excited when I read the note yet couldn’t find a trace of my reply.

Are you always on top of correspondence? Do you pull out excuses–or not?