So I am halfway through my annual end-of-August vacation.
It started off on a bad note; a final day of work where I felt more like I did not deserve to take the time off than ever, that there was so much that will need to be done, that my world will be insane when I get back and that somehow I am failing at my responsibilities and letting the team down. My demons often make me feel that way, and so often their insidious attacks on my soul’s foundation are kicked into high gear right at the time when I dare to allow myself a reward of some kind.
The first few days of my break were rocky at best: I hermitted myself in the house for the weekend and did next to nothing but eat and sleep and chide myself for doing nothing but eating and sleeping, and listening to my demons tell me that I am useless and going nowhere and facing 50 in January and alone and sad and miserable and man I have really fucked up this life thing. I have no friends who I feel like I can just call up and invite over (and if I did, I would be embarrassed to have them over because my house looks like hobos live in it); I have no discretionary funds to invite anyone to meet up for dinner or drinks or anything. I am alone, I am lonely, and neither seems likely to change anytime soon. The icing on the cake came Sunday, when I sat slothlike on the couch and watched my TV’s picture shrink to a line the height of a single pixel. Oh, my demons had a field day with that: “Ha ha ha, you don’t even get to watch meaningless, vapid television! You FAIL!”
Things began turning the corner on Monday…spending an afternoon with my brother was good for the soul. We have that sort of “secret language” that all siblings do, and the ability to make each other laugh uproariously about things that no one else gets, or ever could get, or even should get. A few hours together planning for my Dad’s birthday the following day really helped to lift my spirits. Yesterday was spent celebrating with Dad, and even though we met with immense frustration trying (and failing) to get a motion-sensor camera to work for him – thanks in large part to the most obtusely written instructions printed in the smallest font imaginable and littered with those goddamn pictograms that no one who speaks any language can actually decipher – the day was wonderful. Good food, many laughs, great conversations. I am blessed with a family who can go from deep, philosophical discussion to surrealistic imaginings to near slapstick-level comedy and back again, and time I spend with them is always so very enjoyable. Hell, Dad even had a spare TV he could offer as a holdover until I can actually afford to properly replace the one that died.
Today, though I cannot tell you why, the storm clouds rolled in again, both literally (an early evening thunderstorm rumbled through) and as the storms that cloud my brain when I fall prey to those damn demons. They began gnawing at me again, insisting that I am not good enough, a failure, a wretch, and that there is no hope of ever changing it. I found myself sitting in a chair, silently sobbing, wishing somehow everything were different, that I had made better choices, that I could have a do-over on Life.
I decided I need a change of scenery - to get up and get out and go…somewhere. And tomorrow, that’s what I am going to do. I am “going ghost” for a day. I do not know where I will end up, whether it will be somewhere where I stay overnight or whether I will come home the same day. It may be more of a mental scenery change than a physical one, but then again I may just get on a train and see where it takes me for a day. The need is there to shake things up, to break the dull predictability, to change habit patterns and shock the hell out of my demons -- and maybe out of those of you who know me. There is an old saying that if you keep doing what you always did, you’ll keep getting what you always got. What I’ve always been doing for these past 15 or 20 years clearly has not worked, and there was a time in my life when I was much more spontaneous, much more willing to risk, much more willing to try something new, much more likely to keep people guessing. I need a sense of that back in my life, even if just for a day or two.
I still have half a vacation in front of me; I intend to use it to its fullest. I intend to go find something or someone or someplace new. Hell, if find something I like well enough, I may not come back -- certainly not as the same person.
Midlife crisis? Who, me? Maybe. Probably likely. But then again, maybe this is the kind of kick in the ass I need to begin to make the changes I have always wished for. Time will tell whether it sticks, or whether this is me rambling on meaninglessly again.
Dammit, where’s my rum?
I was in eighth grade when we elected an actor with bad hair and frighteningly hateful ideas to the White House. Ronald Reagan made sure we all knew how evil and terrible and frightening the Russians were, that if we didn't stand up and fight they'd infiltrate and destroy us. Illegal immigrants were bringing in drugs and taking our jobs. The economy was in ruins with inflation making everything too expensive for the average joe, but hey, no worries, The Gipper is here to fix it all. His campaign materials used a reassuring phrase: "Make America Great Again."
I remember the media telling us there was "no way" this county would ever elect an actor to the Presidency -- there was just no imaginable way Reagan could win, the pundits insisted.
But he did. Twice.
If there was anything good about the Reagan years, especially during his first term, it was that he was a perfect target for the North American punk rock scene to vent its angry energy toward. The UK punks had both The Queen and Maggie Thatcher to spew their bile upon, but for the first couple of years, this side of the pond had no real galvanizing figure to equal either. Reagan fixed that. So much great music was made in protest of that man: D.R.I.'s spat out "Reaganomics,"
The Minutemen imagined "If Reagan Played Disco,"
Canadians D.O.A. chimed in from the great white north with "Fucked Up Ronnie."
The Ramones checked in with "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg"
while Reagan Youth presented an eponymously titled diatribe. Reagan's presidency provided fuel for hundreds upon hundreds of hardcore bands across the country. And for a while, hatred of Reagan fueled nearly everything Jello Biafra and the Dead Kennedys did. It was perhaps all best summed up with The Pop-O-Pies' wonderful "A Political Song:""We don't want your apathy
No fucking government gets down on me.
Can you spare any change? Can you spare any change?
Anti-Reagan and stuff, man, yeah."So now here we are, 36 years later, and the possibility looms that we may elect a reality-TV star with bad hair and
frighteningly hateful ideas to the White House. Donald Trump
makes sure we all know how evil and terrible and frightening the Muslims are, and that if we didn't stand up and fight they will infiltrate and destroy us. Illegal immigrants are bringing in crime and taking our jobs. The economy is in ruins and everything is too expensive for the average joe, but hey, no worries, The Donald is here to fix it all. His baseball cap even sports a reassuring phrase: "Make America Great Again."
The media kept telling us there was "no way" this county would ever elect this buffoon to the Presidency -- there was just no imaginable way Trump could win, the pundits insisted.
But he won the Republican nomination, and there are those now saying he could win it all.
So where are the current crop of punks? Trump is ripe for the same musical evisceration, and they keep telling me punk's not dead. So far, we've had to rely on those who were there before: D.O.A. updated their classic as "Fucked Up Donald,"
and Jello Biafra is at it again with his current band, The Guantanamo School of Medicine, who are now out on the road on their "Nazi Trumps Fuck Off" tour. The seeds are planted, the way has been shown.
A Trump presidency making America great again? Yeah, I don't think so. But if it happens, it just might make punk rock great again. Can you spare any change?
They're back kids! Bringing us yuletide joy from Victoria, British Columbia, with yet another sleighful of devastating spot-on Punk Rock Christmas parodies, The Angry Snowmans are once again ready to pogo with the jolly fat man in the red suit and the whiskers.
It's impressive to me that at this point, their fifth release, they're still coming up with material as brilliant as the first two albums, which I first brought to your attention on this here blog
. (I still think they'll never top the title What We Do Is Festive
, but damn they've come close a few times!) This year, it's a classic Minutemen album, 1983's What Makes A Man Start Fires?
, that gets Snowmanned, reimagined as What Makes An Elf Build Toys?
(complete with accurate faux-Raymond Pettibon
cover drawing -- the level of detail these guys go to is incredible!).
The half-dozen song set charges out of the gate brilliantly with stab at the most well-known cut from that particular Minutemen record. "Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs"
is regifted to us as "Bing Crosby Wrote Festive Christmas Songs."
Elsewhere, The Meatmen and Black Flag are pulled into the jolly old mix among others (I won't give away all the wonderful surprises found within), all played with appropriate reverence for the originals and enough attitude to make it damn clear you haven't stumbled onto the Norman Luboff Choir
So far I haven't seen anywhere to get ahold of a physical copy of What Makes An Elf Build Toys?
, but it and all of the previous holiday cheer from the Snowmans can be had for your listening pleasure at their Bandcamp page
. Go get 'em, and make your Christmas merry and bright!
It's a fairly straightforward recipe: mix a handful of twangy spaghetti-western guitar riffs with a pair of rumbling Burundi Beat drummers, toss in assorted yips, yelps and yodels, and wrap it all up in gooey wad of time-tested bubblegum hooks. Now, tilt the whole works just off-center, and voila - you've got Antmusic.
A strange concoction in many ways when you think about it. It's a light, airy kind of ear candy that threatens to evaporate into the ether upon first listen. Yet, it demands repeated listenings, and seems to get better, grow stronger, with every revolution of of the turntable. The dual rhythms both compete with and complement one another, and the whole sound sinks into your brain and makes a home there.
For a few years, Adam & The Ants
' Kings Of The Wild Frontier
was my favorite album (eventually losing that crown to the Violent Femmes' debut LP
); 35 years later, it's still a Top Ten pick. Adam would eventually go on to a solo career that could be described as spotty at best, with the occasional shining gem glistening among some pretty dire dreck. The early Adam & The Ants stuff from the late 1970s showed a lot of promise, but had not yet found the right balance of ingredients. By the time the band invited us to "try another flavor"
, the recipe was just right.
The album opens with a stunning one-two punch: "Dog Eat Dog"
are simply classics of the New Wave era and probably the strongest tracks on the album, but to let them overshadow the rest is to miss out on some truly outstanding songs. "Press Darlings," "Feed Me To The Lions"
and "Los Rancheros"
each are catchy, hook-filled confections that could have been hit singles themselves. But all is not just bouncy fun here in Antland: "Ants Invasion"
strikes an eerie sci-fi pose, "Killer In The Home"
ups the creepy factor, and "Physical (You're So)"
is much darker here than even Trent Reznor could make it when he covered it years later
It was with the first single after Kings Of The Wild Frontier
that Adam & The Ants hit their absolute pinnacle, but "Stand And Deliver"
would have to wait until Prince Charming
to appear on an album, and by then The Ants were starting to lose steam.
Kings Of The Wild Frontier
belongs on anyone's short list of defining New Wave albums and still sees fairly regular airplay around these parts.
With its defiant opening lyric,"I was saying 'Let me outta here!' before I was even born," "Blank Generation"
(the song) immediately defines the ground rules under which Richard Hell
is playing: "It's fascinating to observe what the mirror does, but when I dine it's for the wall that I set a place."
Similar themes of undefined alienation, social misalignment, and Life as constant irritant run through the entirety of Blank Generation
(the album), Hell's stunning and startling debut album with his own band, The Voidoids
, Bob Quine
and Mark Bell, who would soon thereafter become Marky Ramone
Richard Hell had been in the young NYC Punk scene for some time already, having been a founding member of Television
and doing a stint as one of Johnny Thunders
' Heartbreakers. Hell was a musician, a poet, an artist and a confrontationalist. Hell skulked around CBGBs
in a t-shirt festooned with a bullseye and the words "Please Kill Me," and is often pointed to as the originator of the razor cut spiked hair and safety-pinned clothes look that the Brit Punks quickly appropriated.
While the title and lyrics of "Blank Generation"
may seem on the surface to be the perfect representation of the expected "no future" mindset of many of his contemporaries, Hell saw it as hopeful. As he explained in a 1978 interview with Lester Bangs, "To me, blank was a line where you can fill in anything ... It's the idea that you have the option of making yourself anything you want, filling in the blank. And that’s something that provides a uniquely powerful sense to this generation. It's saying 'I entirely reject your standards for judging my behavior.'"
That anthem is the clear centerpiece of the album, but the rest of Blank Generation
is much more than simply an undercard to the main event. Quine's sharply angular guitar carries Hell's painfully honest lyrics into the dark underbelly of after hours rock and jazz clubs, careening through dark passageways and pushing past sweaty, overpacked crowds of faceless onlookers. The vocals howl and shriek and plead and cajole; the overall sound is insistent if inconsistent; the lyrics are brilliant.
The opening track, "Love Comes In Spurts,"
might just have a been a snickering double-entendre in anyone else's hands. It turns out to actually be a painful realization that relationships are not always what the appear to be: "Love comes in spurts/In dangerous flirts/And it murders your heart/They didn't tell you that part."
That painful realization is expanded upon later on the track "Betrayal Takes Two,"
leads him to question its purpose on "Who Says?"
("Who says it's good, good, good to be alive?/It ain't no good, it's a perpetual jive."
), and finally brings him to the album's closer, "Another World,"
in which he decides, "I could live with you in another world...but not this one."
Elsewhere, Hell calls out the fakers ("Liars Beware"
), indulges in "New Pleasure,"
interprets Credence Clearwater Revival's "Walking On The Water"
and invites us all to meet up "Down At The Rock And Roll Club."
Start to finish, Blank Generation
is as solid an album as you could possibly want, filled with surprise turns and unexpected moments. Simply put, it's a must-have. However, avoid the 1990 CD reissue, which inexplicably opts for completely different recordings of some tracks and chooses to replace the original artwork.
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