Joy Davies, New Jersey Bio: I am a 46-year-old wife, mother, and writer raising a blended family with my husband of three years. Together, we parent my thirteen-year-old daughter and his three children, ages eleven, fourteen, and sixteen. I recently ...
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The Smallest Seeds and more...

The Smallest Seeds

Joy Davies, New Jersey

Bio: I am a 46-year-old wife, mother, and writer raising a blended family with my husband of three years. Together, we parent my thirteen-year-old daughter and his three children, ages eleven, fourteen, and sixteen. I recently completed writing my first manuscript, a raw and reflective memoir that documents my journey through childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, and a painful custody battle, and how God met me in those storms with healing, surrender, and salvation through Christ. I enjoy cooking, reading, and volunteering, and I feel called to deepen my involvement in my church and to eventually create a safe, faith-based support group for women who have experienced trauma and abuse.

The Smallest Seeds

I met my husband during a season when I was not walking with the Lord. It wasn’t until I was deep in a custody battle—exhausted, broken, and falling apart on my kitchen floor one night that God met me there. In that moment, I surrendered my life to Him. Since then, everything has changed. My circumstances didn’t suddenly become easy, but He changed my heart.

I was led to an incredible church, surrounded by a loving church family. He placed friends in my life —women who mentor me, pray for me, and point me back to truth when I feel weary. Most importantly, God transformed me during seasons of uncertainty, grief, and relentless strife. Where fear once ruled, faith began to take root.

My husband does not walk with the Lord. He also struggles with alcoholism and carries deep, unresolved trauma from his previous marriage—wounds that often spill into ours. Our blended family is messy, and most days feel like a battle. But the peace the Lord gives me sustains me. It allows me to face each day knowing I am never alone. When I feel overwhelmed, I know I can run to Him, and He is always near.

For over a year, I prayed over my husband every night. He believed I had lost my mind—finding faith, going to church, and becoming someone he didn’t recognize. He often told me how much I had changed. He was right—I had. But standing firm in my faith came at a cost. At times, it felt like it created distance in our marriage. Still, I remained rooted, trusting God even when it hurt.

On Christmas Eve, when we didn’t have our children, I asked my husband if he would come to church with me so I wouldn’t have to go alone. To my complete surprise, he hesitantly agreed. He was simply appeasing me, but he was going—and I was grateful.

What he didn’t know was that many members of my church knew our story and had been faithfully praying for him. When we arrived, he was warmly welcomed by my friends and their husbands. One man, in particular, shared that he had been praying for him. My pastor came over, greeted him warmly, and placed a gentle hand on his head and back, expressing how happy he was that he was there.

At first, I thought, This is it. My introverted husband will never come back. But as he quietly sat through the service, I released those thoughts and surrendered the moment to God. Afterward, I asked him what he thought. To my amazement, he said he had never felt so welcomed and that he experienced a peace he couldn’t explain. He told me he finally understood why I go to church, why I have my faith—and even said he would consider coming again.

But God.

Never would I have expected that outcome. Yet God does what we believe is impossible. He is the God of the possible.

I know a seed was planted that night. Since then, there has still been significant struggle in our marriage—especially surrounding his drinking. I’ve feared the worst, tried to control outcomes, and even threatened to leave if he didn’t get help. But God has been teaching me something deeper.

Psalm 46:10 has long been my anchor verse: “Be still.” I’ve lived by those words for over a year, especially in my marriage. But only recently did the second half of the verse fully settle in my heart: “Know that I am God.”

To me, this means: Stop attempting to control every outcome. Stop letting fear and anxiety dictate your response. Allow God to be God.

Anxiety leads nowhere. The enemy uses fear, control, and doubt to seek and destroy. But God intends good for His children. Our husbands are His children too. Instead of seeing my marriage as a catastrophe, I was led to this: What if God placed me in my husband’s life to help lead him toward salvation?

God has a purposeful plan for each of us. In the midst of strife, our calling is to lean closer to Him and trust Him to do the work only He can do.

This is not an easy path. But I’ve witnessed small, undeniable seeds being planted. My husband agreed to attend couples therapy, and the therapist I found specializes in addiction. He has finally admitted he has a problem. These are seeds—and I choose to receive each one with deep gratitude to the Most High.

In John 13:7, Jesus says, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” Let that truth resonate deeply. God has a plan for each of us, even when we cannot yet see it. Keep Him close. Trust Him to plant seeds. And believe that His work is unfolding—whether or not we recognize it yet.

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Balancing our Spouse and our Faith

Hello everyone

How are you all, I wonder? It has been a while! I hope the fast went well for you.

Well, today I’m actually a little raw. We have ‘raw’ days sometimes. This week my lovely hubby expressed that I’m charging off without him into stuff that I am interested in, leaving him alone. Much of this is my faith stuff.

He has gone to work now, leaving me alone at home, in turn; and I am left with the question: How do I balance my faith and remain true to myself, while equally staying within his world, and connecting with him?

This is the question we often wrestle with as SUMites, and this is why our website exists! We want to do it well, but we don’t always manage it. Quite honestly, I think I have not been getting the balance right lately.

One of the things I’ve been doing is overcommitting my time to things. For example, I have recently volunteered to play the piano at church. It means more time away from him. I build friendships from church, and that means I have friends he doesn’t know. How do I balance it all?

Well, here at SUM us writers just write what we’re living out… So, that is what I’m living out today.

“Are there any scriptures to help me with this?” I asked, this morning.

The only one that springs to mind is Proverbs 31, which talks about a very busy wife who does a lot of things!

One of the things she does is:

She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life (v 12), and

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household (v.15), and

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet (v. 21)

(Proverbs 31, RSV)

I see those things — the food, the clothing — as symbolic of spiritual food, spiritual clothing, not literal food and clothing, although that too. In other words, she cares.

You know… When you have these hard conversations with your spouse, when they’re feeling alienated from you, and they don’t like what you’re doing, a first act is to try to make sure you reflect on your own part in it and try to redress the balance if things have gone a little awry; but then it’s also good to remember that you are actually caring for them deeply in spiritual terms, and what you are doing will still stand them in good stead.

Any thoughts? I look forward to seeing you in the comments.

Ann

The post Balancing our Spouse and our Faith appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Powerful Warfare Prayers

Today, I was praying with someone and we talked about praying for marriages. I thought I would share the link I sent her.

Did you know there is entire library of prayers to pray for your home, your kids, your spouse. The prayer are my own and I know they have power behind them. Below is the prayer portal link. You can find the book at Amazon.

READ Them, better yet PRAY THEM, aloud.

Let me know in the comments how you are praying for your family this week. I love and adore you. Praying the Shalom of heaven upon you. Lynn Donovan

Healing and Deliverance Prayer Portal by Lynn Donovan

The post Powerful Warfare Prayers appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

It’s Not Too Late

Seminar One: Praying for Healing for Self or Others

TODAY!!! LIVE at 11 am Pacific.

Check your time zone.

Can’t attend live. No Worries. You will receive a link to the broadcast after the event.

So many Christians DO NOT know how to pray effectively. Many believers have never received training for effective wording/language to defeat the illness and spirits of infirmity or affliction. Example: When praying for physical healing, DO NOT pray, please heal me. We must learn to pray effective words, commands, belief statements and actions, real actions that garner support from the spiritual realm of the Kingdom of Christ Jesus. Learn how to bring healing to yourself and others.

PS. I have a ton of experience and practice in this area. Praying with a nuance creates greater impact. Praying to engage the angelic is absolutely necessary.

Praying for Healing for Self and Others

$25.00

Pay now

The post It’s Not Too Late appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

One Word 2026

Hi, This is Barb Twigg with another What I Know For Sure

 

The post One Word 2026 appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.


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