Hey SUM Nation. Lynn here. The other day I was texting LuAnn and she shared that it might be good to go back to some basics from Winning Him Without Words. So, today, I'm going to share a quick summary of Key One of the book. Scripture reminds us that a ...
Hey SUM Nation. Lynn here. The other day I was texting LuAnn and she shared that it might be good to go back to some basics from Winning Him Without Words. So, today, I’m going to share a quick summary of Key One of the book.
Scripture reminds us that a husband’s heart can be influenced through the quiet testimony of a wife’s faith and character.
The first key provides a foundation for this life-changing approach.
Key #1: Trust God More Than Your Efforts
One of the greatest struggles for a wife who wants spiritual change in her husband is the temptation to become the Holy Spirit.
It often begins innocently. We share encouraging articles, recommend sermons, point out areas where growth is needed, or remind our husbands of what they should be doing. Our intentions are good, but over time, our efforts can become a form of control rather than faith.
The truth is that no amount of persuasion can accomplish what only God can do.
God never asked wives to carry the burden of changing their husbands. That responsibility belongs to Him. When we assume that role, we often become exhausted, resentful, and discouraged because the results don’t match our efforts.
Trusting God means releasing our timeline and our expectations. It means believing that God loves our husband even more than we do and that He is actively working behind the scenes, even when we cannot see evidence of change.
This does not mean becoming passive or indifferent. It means shifting our focus from managing our husband’s spiritual journey to deepening our own relationship with Christ.
When we choose prayer over pressure, faith over fear, and surrender over striving, we create room for God to work in ways we never could.
Many women discover that as they stop trying to force change, they experience greater peace. They find freedom from carrying a burden that was never theirs to bear. They learn to trust that God’s timing is perfect and His methods are far more effective than their own.
A praying wife can accomplish far more on her knees than she ever could through endless conversations, arguments, or reminders.
The first key is simple but profound: Let God be God.
Lynn asked me to provide an update on my healing adventure. Hi, Ian here from sunny springtime in Sydney.
I was diagnosed with aggressive multiple myeloma on. 27 March and was in hospital to start treatment 3 days later. Myeloma is currently an incurable blood cancer but the great discoveries in medical science are assisting in survival rates and hopes that one day soon a cure will be found.
I was also diagnosed with a nasty protein called amyloid which sometimes comes about from myeloma, as in my case, but can also occur in other ways. It typically deposits itself in prominent organs, in my case, the heart. It causes your heart muscle to thicken reducing the pumping ability of the heart. If it’s not treated it can result in people needing a heart transplant and people dying from cardiac amyloidosis is becoming a more common occurrence.
So Many Blessings
I’ve experienced so many blessing through this adventure. My medical team is top-notch. Significantly, the cardiologist called into manage the amyloid issue in my heart happens to be one of the few amyloid experts in the state.
The medical team pushed hard to access an immunotherapy drug in addition to my chemotherapy treatments, to tackle the amyloid issue. It costs a significant sum of money and we were fortunate to able to access it under the Govt medical benefits fund.
Only two weeks ago, I had my checkup with my cardiologist who was amazed at my results. In fact, she said my heart was no worse and, might have slightly improved. A wonderful answer to prayer.
The chemo nurses at the infusion centre have become guardian healing angels. I attend every week for anywhere between 60 minutes and 5 hours, depending on the treatment scheduled for that week. After seven months, I’ve become a regular and they;’ve made what could be very traumatic a calming and at times enjoyable experience getting to know these ladies of various nationalities.
Fiona and I are blessed with various support groups. Fiona has a strong group of girlfriends who check in on her, take her out and give her hugs and listening ears as she deals with the emotional challenges of being the major carer. It’s a tough gig. I have a wonderful global group of prayers (some of which are SUMItes) who are going into battle for my health and for the family as we walk this adventure together. I have a few very close friends who are always close and keeping watch over me.
What’s Next
A stem cell transplant starting on November 10 November. This is a procedure Lynn’s husband, Mike, had with his leukemia, and comes with some risk primarily due to the fact it smashes your immunity to nothing. Meaning you are highly susceptible to infection if a bug comes near, hence, I will be in a secure room at the hospital. Nurses and the like will all be in heavy PPE like Covid days and my family will probably talk to me at a distance for the first few days/week. I’ve been told to allow for a 3-week hospital stay as this is the time it typically takes for one’s immunity to reach a level where you’re able to step back into the world, though with a mask, and with limited outside contact for another 2-3 months.
Well, that’s probably more than enough for you all to digest. I’m in good spirits and have been through most of this adventure. God is very close and tender and I’m experiencing my own wilderness season which I might write about another time. I’m now a firm believer that a wilderness experience is an important one for us all to walk through in developing intimacy with our Lord.
Thank you for all of you who have prayed and continue to pray. We cherish every prayer. I’ve always been a big believer in the more the merrier going into battle in the prayer room for people. Lynn, Ann and Lu receive a weekly update and Lu passes that onto the prayer team which I appreciate.
Don’t hesitate to drop me a line or in the comments below if you have any questions or wish to join in the prayer team. We can hook you up via the 3 ladies.
Go well, my friends and may you experience some of wonder and joy this week.
I shared with you in my last post that Bryce and I recently bought a house in a remote location, and I want to set it up as a retreat for people to come to: A place they can find Jesus.
Bryce does know this, and is humoring me LOL. Now that we have been married almost 30 years, he is used to my ‘hair-brained’ schemes.
There are other retreats out there, like what I have in mind. For example, there is one called Ffald-y-Brenin, in Wales: Home – Ffald y Brenin. And people feel the presence of God there.
I also have been inspired by a couple of ministers in the UK who have now died: Tom and Jean Rees. They set up three retreats at different points in their life, one which was called Hildenbrough Hall.
I don’t have such grand designs for mine. It’ll be simple and small. But in my mind I’m thinking people come, I cook and bake for them, offer them an ‘all you can eat’ experience, and they take a rest. There’s a little prayer room in the house, off to one side, and I want to offer prayer and coaching. There are nice secluded beaches to walk to, and I might make a website for the retreat. Strangers will be welcome.
My friends, I believe when we get a dream like this, it’s God who puts it there. It’s like a seed that he sows in our mind, and then he waters it.
Anyway, today I want to tell you something startling that happened in relation to all this:
I had in my head that we will only have Christian books in the retreat, and we will have lots of them.’
But where would I get such books? I have a collection of Christian books at home, but I wanted to keep those there. They are precious to me, and I want them in my home space. No, for this retreat I needed a new lot of books.
I mentioned this to a friend, who instantly said, “OH! I know a lady whose husband was a pastor, he has recently died, and she is having to downsize. She needs someone to take his books”
“Me Me Me!” I said, trying to contain myself from jumping up and down.
Fast forward a week, and I found myself sat opposite this recently widowed daughter of God, at her kitchen table. I had just spent the morning packing her husband’s books into boxes and boxes and carting them to my car. Taking a breather, I was now sat with her. “Tell me about your husband…” I said. “I love talking about him,” she answered. And she told me the story of this faithful man who had collected Christian books since the age of 18 until his death at age 91.
“We believed that to be saved was to serve,” she mused.
He was a man of deep faith, who lived his whole life in service to the church and to Jesus, and finished his race.
I now have this man’s life collection of books in my retreat, ready for others to enjoy. Here they are:
My friends, I love the fact that this pastor’s legacy will live on like this; and I personally believe he can see where his books have ended up, watching from the cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1). I tell you, he has SUCH good books — I cannot wait to sit down in the chair and dig into them.
I guess the message I take from this is that when God puts a dream into your heart he brings it to fruition in remarkable, creative, and delightful ways.
Have you got a dream you’re nurturing in your heart? A dream that perhaps came from God?
It’s nice chatting. Have a great weekend, everyone.
Hello SUMites. Lynn here. I wonderful and encouraging comment was left on the post: My Husband Walk Out of Church Because…… I wanted to share it with all of you. It’s written by Tessia Reeves, who has guest posted int he past.
Discover El Roi, our God who sees. Hugs, Lynn: Now her response:
Lynn,
Your response is beautiful, helpful, and insightful. I resonate with the writer and her prayer request. I can raise my hand in agreement with the frustration of waiting for our spouses to “get with the program.”
The Lord caught my attention when resentment began to take root in my heart over this issue. It was a path I did not want to continue down. Through prayer, the Holy Spirit had to free my heart so that I could love my husband regardless of the pace of his spiritual transformation. For me, it became a matter of trusting my Creator through the process of waiting, praying, and obeying.
I deeply desire to share who I am in Christ—Scripture, the ways I see the Lord all around me, testimonies, and more—with the spouse He gave me. Now, however, I ask the Lord before I open my mouth: Would this comment sound self-righteous? Would he hear it as condemnation?
It is not so much about hiding who I am as it is about fully surrendering my speech, attitude, motives, and heart posture within my marriage. In doing so, I can now hear the Lord more clearly when He whispers, “It’s okay to speak,” or, “Keep that to yourself. He’s not ready for that.”
With this new discernment, there is more peace in my heart and in my relationship. I am no longer fighting that battle. I am getting out of the way of the only One who knows my husband’s story from beginning to end.
He has made a way for me—not only through this online community, but also through my church community—to praise freely, lift my hands and voice, speak my heavenly language, and be among brothers and sisters who “get it.” It is almost as if, when I took my eyes off my spouse and looked to Him for what I needed, He provided.
He is such a gracious keeper of His Word, and I am forever grateful for my story, my spouse’s story, and all the messy details in between.
Be encouraged. El Roi is the One who truly sees us and hears the prayers we pray.
