Hi SUMites, Below is a prayer request from a community member. This is a common concern that arises in many families and marriages: What do we do about church? I’m going to share her prayer request below, as she is seeking wisdom about changing ...
Below is a prayer request from a community member.
This is a common concern that arises in many families and marriages: What do we do about church? I’m going to share her prayer request below, as she is seeking wisdom about changing churches. Specifically, she wants to know how to respond to her husband’s resistance to attending a more charismatic church.
However, I believe we can all learn from her request, as each of us faces challenges in our marriages related to church. After sharing her prayer request, I’ll offer my response. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts as well. God bless you, and have a wonderful week. Love and hugs, Lynn
From M: I think I’m being called to a more charismatic church. Me and my family checked it out this last Sunday, me and my son loved it! My husband walked out to the lobby before the worship was over because the spirit manifesting was uncomfortable for him. I want to go back and so does my son. But my husband doesn’t want the kids there, it was just too much for him. I’m craving more closeness with the spirit and excited to see the spirit move. The church we’ve been going to is sleepy in my opinion. He said he will go with me to a “regular” church like that, but not a charismatic one. So, I need some direction. I don’t want to make my husband feel abandoned, but I don’t want to abandon myself and the Holy Spirit! Especially after my husband says that his faith level hasn’t changed since we started dating. And of course I want my kids to attend church.
Response Lynn to M:
I hear the tension you’re carrying, and it makes sense. When the Holy Spirit has awakened hunger in your heart, it can feel painful when the people you love aren’t in the same place yet. But your desire for more of God is beautiful — and I understand completely. The Lord is stirring something in you, and He’s doing the same in your son. That matters.
At the same time, your husband’s discomfort is not something to ignore or push past. When someone hasn’t been taught about the gifts of the Spirit or hasn’t experienced His presence in that way, it can feel overwhelming and can make him angry or resentful. His reaction doesn’t mean he’s rejecting God — it means he encountered something he wasn’t prepared for. And that’s okay. The Holy Spirit never forces Himself on anyone.
Here’s the encouragement I want to give you:
You don’t have to abandon your hunger for the Spirit, and you don’t have to abandon your husband. The Lord will show you how to honor both.
Sometimes the path forward is not choosing one or the other, but allowing the Holy Spirit to gently shepherd your family at a pace your husband can handle. You can continue growing, learning, and experiencing more of the Spirit without creating fear or division at home. And you can trust God to draw your husband in ways you cannot. If your husband will attend the conservative church, with the kids, then go with him. But if there are Sunday’s or other events at the church you desire, attend then and when you can. Watch teaching on Youtube as it will greatly encourage you.
Your husband’s comment about his faith not changing since you started dating is actually a clue — he’s telling you where he is spiritually. That’s not a condemnation; it’s an invitation for prayer. The Holy Spirit is fully capable of awakening him, softening him, and preparing him for more. You don’t have to make that happen. Let God do this for you. You pray and believe.
For now, here are a few gentle steps:
Keep your heart open to the Spirit. Don’t shut down your hunger.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to prepare him, teach him, and draw him.
Ask the Lord for wisdom about how your children can stay connected to church life without creating conflict.
Trust that God is leading all of you, even if at different speeds.
You are not choosing between your marriage and the Holy Spirit. You are choosing to walk in love, patience, and discernment while the Spirit continues His work in your home. And He will. He is faithful to protect you from deception, and He is faithful to guide your family into truth without causing fracture.
I love you. Your faith and prayers matter so much. Don’t partner with discouragement and know that Jesus is with you every step of the way.
Ann here. Oh, it’s good to be back after the ‘summer’ break! That said, it has been winter here in New Zealand!! Yes, we are topsy turvy down here
Now, it has been SO long since I last wrote, I thought I would tell you a little about three big faith activities going on for me at the moment. I’ll pop a scripture next to each part, as we go along.
Here’s what I’ve been up to:
First, I have been continuing to attend a wonderful fortnightly women’s life group. Oh SUMites, what joy. Those women are so important to me now, after several years of walking through our faith lives together. Here’s a photo with some of them.
Have you got a group you’re part of? If not, I pray that God will meet that desire.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them (Psalm 145:19)
The second thing is that God led me to a new church about six months ago, by surprise. It’s a Presbyterian church in a different suburb from where I live. It is also a different style of church to what I’m used to. So, I am attending it on faith.
Four other people have also been led to that church, and they and I have formed a little team of ‘quiet cheerleaders for that church’. We chit-chat about why we might be there. It’s fun.
Sometimes you go somewhere purely because you sense God has asked you to. And that is enough of a reason.
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21, NIV)
And finally: Bryce and I bought a house quite unplanned earlier this year — in the countryside! We are city people. But we went for a drive one day to a lovely far-off peninsula, and there was a house for sale. Bryce slammed on the brakes, one thing led to another, and before we knew it, it was ours!
I didn’t press the point with Bryce, but I felt that God was in the purchase.
The house is far from where Bryce works, so we can’t live in it yet. We go up there and do work in the garden instead. But I have in my heart to turn it into a retreat where people can come and rest. Bryce knows about this
I have a lovely leather notebook, sitting permanently in that house — And I am dreaming with God about the retreat, scribbling all ideas down…. and talking to him about the fact I think I’m building something there.
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength …” (Isaiah 30:15)
So, those are three big faith-based ‘things’ going on.
God certainly takes us through bends in the road, and twists and turns of seasons in our lives. We really never know what’s next — whether it’s easy or difficult. But any which way, it is RICH when we walk it with him.
SUMites, do you have any summer developments that have happened with you? Has God done something ‘rich to your heart’ this summer?
I started writing in 2006 and didn’t have a clue, but I took courses and attended Christian writers’ conferences. Because of those efforts, I have now been writing for 20 years and am about to publish my eighth book.
There are so many ways to write now, so many places to publish your work, and many opportunities to earn money.
I will be teaching Crafting Devotions and Beginning Non-Fiction at the West Coast Christian Writers Conference in November. You can attend in person or online.
Here are the course summaries:
Workshop For Beginning Non-fiction Writers: Start Your Non-Fiction Book Today
And finish it in 90 days!
As a new writer, starting a project is an overwhelming prospect. In this workshop you will acquire writing skills, and the “MUST Haves” for writers: The Power of 48 minutes, writing technology, nuances to craft chapters which compel your readers to action and positive change, editing, defining your market and more. You will take with you the courage to share your work and become a published author.
Craft Inspiring and Compelling Devotionals
Writing with passion inspires readers into greater faith and transformation. In this workshop we discover how to write a strong devotional by exploring the personal nature of devotionals, the key elements of effective devotional writing, and what to and what not to include in devotionals. We will learn how to develop ideas for different devotional markets and social media. This is an inspiring and faith building workshop for authors who desire to help others grow in their faith in Jesus.
BIO: Lynn Donovan is a speaker, prayer minister, writing teacher and award-winning author of multiple Christian living, devotional, and spiritual warfare titles. She has written for newspapers and magazines and has been a featured guest on Christian television and radio networks. Her passion is inspiring aspiring writers to follow their passion and write for the Kingdom of God. She
Hi! Ian here. I trust all of you in the northern hemisphere have enjoyed a glorious summer season and managed to get away to enjoy some rest and relaxation.
Spring has certainly sprung here in Sydney, even though winter is trying this week to remind us that maybe there’s still some cold around the corner.
Change
We SUMites pray and hope our pre-believing partners will change and come to find the Lord. We often, especially in the early years invite our partners to join us at church, meeting Christian friends, etc in the hope these will assist them in their discovery process.
Two things I’ve learnt over almost thirty years together with my wonderful wife, Fiona, is:
God is responsible for our partners coming to him. He has them in his very trusty hands. Yes, our prayers are important and having our partners share in our friendships, and such is very positive for them and your relationship.
Expecting our partners to be the only one who changes is flawed thinking. We too need to change. Think of it as setting an example.
Transformation is a better word
Standing still in a relationship isn’t generally a positive thing. Whether that’s with a spouse, a friendship, sibling and of course our Lord. All relationships require positive momentum if they are to survive and thrive. There are mountains of books and such that will affirm such.
As partakes our relationship with the Lord, once again, he is responsible for the transforming, he does it, not us. We simply choose each day to abide with him and position ourselves so he can do the work in us.
Remember those words in John 15:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (v 4-7 NIV)
I’ve highlighted two phrases that keep convicting me:
‘for apart from me you can do nothing’
Yes, we can do lots of things but anything of heavenly consequence doesn’t count for much if we do it without abiding with him.
‘And my words abide in you’
I’ve recently appreciated how slack I’ve been in the old-fashioned practice of memorising Scripture, so I’ve started it again. Funnily, it coincided with my church doing similar in our current prayer season. I’m loving it. I use my morning walk to recall me memory verses. My chemo fogged up brain makes everything a bit slower but I know it’s good for me and helps in my abiding with Jesus.
The effects of memorising Scripture is it gets inside and transforms us. “For the Word of God is alive and active …” (Hebrews 4:12). It’s supernatural and the more we have it chewing around inside us, the more God’s Word grabs our hearts and minds to change us.
And maybe our partners take note that there is something going on inside us as the Word bubbles around and transforms some of the things we say, giving us more patience, greater willingness to forgive and greater kindness. Yes, this doesn’t happen overnight but over time, perhaps a long time as is God’s way, and our relationships deepen as one possible outcome.
If you haven’t tried memorising Scripture or it’s been a while, start small. Take your favourite verses, write them down and take as long as you need before moving on to another verse. Try it. See how you go and give yourself lots of grace. Don’t let it become a chore or burden. Try to enjoy it and celebrate the little wins like recalling that first verse you try and then the next one.
Let us know how you go.
Who amongst us already has a regular memorisation habit? Love you to share a little about your experience. What works, doesn’t work and what transformation you’ve seen in yourself as a result. And whether anyone else noticed those things.
