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It’s been a loooong while since I written about the practical life in a spiritually mismatched marriage. Today I would like to share a few thoughts of wisdom among us believing spouses as Valentine’s Day is about to roll around (AGAIN).
In all transparency, I wish this day didn’t exist. Well, Kinda. It is wonderful when you are remembered by a spouse with flowers, dinner, chocolates, even a card. But there are many who aren’t remembered. Or should I say, we feel forgotten, unseen, unappreciated…… lonely…
Hurt.
This is true in marriages, for single people, widows and even children. We all need to know we are loved.
In our early years, Mike, would forget. He was newly married, busy at work, etc. It’s not an excuse to forget but that was reality. What I found that helped my hurting heart was to gently coach him.
“Hey,” I would timidly inquire, “It would be really great if you would send flowers to the bank next week on Valentine’s Day.”
He needed coaching. Yea, NOT VERY ROMANTIC. But I still appreciated the gesture. Mike was really bad about gift giving. Still today, after 33 years, he is STILL really bad about gift giving. I must tell him what to buy me for Christmas, birthdays etc. However, he is brilliant at buying cards.
He has given me the most beautiful words over the years of our marriage. THIS is what he does. He searches the cards for an hour, finding the perfect reflections of words that express his heart of love toward me. He can’t do it any other way.
But the words of the cards are thought-filled and authentic. He also takes time to write his thoughts in these cards. They are vulnerable and words I will never hear him speak to me.
Hmmmmmm, a truly beautiful gift. I just needed to stop comparing my V-day gifts with others. I needed to coach him a bit. Sometimes I have to take action. Such as buying the movie theater tickets and then tell him, “Mike, you are taking me to dinner and a movie this weekend.”
Buy yourself flowers. Buy a card. Send cards. Send me a card. Show your love to a stranger. Let Jesus love on you.
The greatest valentine was given to you. Bright red, hung on a tree, our Savior.
I love you my friends. Plan your V-day now. How do you coach your spouse? Share and help a girl out. Blessings and hugs, Lynn
The post Valentine’s Day … What To Do! appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
Hello friends, Ann here!
I have been on quite the fast-moving journey the last two months, and I might share a little of that today, so here goes:
I have recently gone back into the world of work and study. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am retraining as a coaching psychologist; and I am now also doing some freelance coaching.
It is lovely!
BUT, it is quite a shift from ministry. When you’re in ministry, you can be soaked in God for hours a day, working directly on the things of him. Conversely, when you work in the marketplace, you’re dealing with different subject matter altogether.
When you’re in ministry you have to guard your heart all the time, from all sorts of things. You really do. But in business, it’s the same! There’s a different set of temptations that you have to get used to. Isn’t it funny how life is so tricky. Anyway, it’s got me thinking ….
The key, I think, is to be sure God wants you where you are. If that’s the case, you can move forward well — Whether you’re in ministry, or in the marketplace.
Then, second, you have to hold onto words or principles that God has given you for that situation. Wherever we are, if we listen for his voice, he will give us a handle to hold onto and keep our footing secure.
In my case, God did give me a handle that I could hold onto in this current season. He said to me once, Ann, you are a woman of God, not a professional woman. And that word alone helps me keep my focus.
That word has helped me, over the last few months, not to put too much of my identity into these studies or this work; or, even, too much of my time. I could become a workaholic very easily. I don’t let myself. It’s 12pm here, in fact, as I sit and write this SUM post, and I have not done any work yet today. Instead I’ve spent time with God, and now am writing this. That’s ok: Put the things of God first, and all else will follow. Seek first the kingdom of heaven; everything else will fall into place.
Because of that word, that I am not a professional woman, but a woman of God, I have had to think carefully about why God might want me doing these new pursuits. I am confident he does want me to, but is it, for example, to be a form of service to others? I have to align my heart with his. Already I have had times where that alignment has slipped, and I have to realign myself.
I say to God, ‘You are the treasure that I found in a field all those years ago, and you always will be.’
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.’ (Matthew 13:44, NIV)
And so, my friends, that’s been my little journey of the last couple of months. We always have things we’re navigating. They’re fun to write about. And, I imagine quite a few of you are in business or a career in some way or other. I wonder how you find it to balance that with your identity in Christ?
Perhaps we can chat about this one in the comments? I’d love to hear a little of your stories and experiences.
Much love
Ann
The post When God puts you in the Marketplace appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
AUTHOR: Tess Reeves.
Have you ever been super excited to gift a bestie with a birthday surprise that you knew without a doubt would knock her off her feet? Did you have an image of what would her facial expression be when you handed it over?
The joy on her face would be priceless. You literally could NOT wait to celebrate with her, because you’d hit the jackpot of all gifts!
James 1:17 (NIV) “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Finally, the day arrived. I ordered her favorite cake from her favorite baker. She lived far, but the baker was willing to drive 45 minutes to deliver this much anticipated item. It was a homemade gluten free carrot cake. I mentally patted myself on the back as I remembered my bestie’s dietary restriction.
A group of us ladies started with dinner out and then games at a friend’s house. Then came the finale’ CAKE! I was beaming with pride. She was not. I had ordered the wrong type of cake. It was a spice and not carrot cake that she favored. I hung my head and sighed. There were mumbles and grumbles about the fruit and nuts in the cake, how heavy it was, and on and on. At the end of the evening, the obligatory “thanks for the cake” was offered. My heart sank along with my bank account. Ah well….I tried to shake it off and not make a show of disappointment and hurt. After all, I am a mature adult, right?
I had forgotten about that incident until the Lord brought it up to me one morning in my quiet time. I had been mumbling and grumbling about my husband. “If he would only be less selfish with his time and read his Bible, things would be better for us. Lord, change him.”
And then, my patient and loving Father whispered. Remember how your heart sank when your friend complained about the gift you thought would be perfect for her? Keith is not a cake, but he is a gift I gave to you.
Ouch!
It was the first time I had ever clearly viewed my husband as a gift from the Lord. As the giver of good gifts, I was surely breaking His heart in how I was receiving that gift.
It’s so easy to be thankful for all the things WE view as good gifts in OUR eyes. How much more are we graciously receiving literally everything the Lord gives to us in the way of health, nature, friendships, and yes, even our spouses. Jesus is our perfect gift. Through the guidance of my Him alone, I am learning that He really does give good gifts. This gift of an imperfect husband is teaching the imperfect me how to give and receive love exactly like God, my perfect Father.
1 Timothy 4:4 ESV “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving…”
AUTHOR: Tess Reeves. I’ve loved Our Creator for decades and never grow weary of hearing from Him. I was entrusted with Keith, my husband of 28 yrs. As if that wasn’t enough, he helped me to raise two magnificent daughters (Jessica, 25 and Jalyn, 22). I love our nondenominational church in Gainesville, VA and can be found regularly volunteering with our Outreach ministry. Nursing and Caregiving encourages my heart and keeps me connected with precious others.
The post WHAT TO DO WITH A GIFT appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
At the start of every year, I offer training seminars to the financial donors that occurs on Giving Tuesday in December. If you missed your opportunity to support this ministry you can still give and register for this seminar. Link is at the bottom. The LIVE broadcast is Tuesday, January 28th at 11 am Pacific. There is a recorded link provided following. Hugs, Lynn
Seminar Two: Praying for Protection
The demonic assaults coming against true believers in the past two years has been at a level I’ve never seen before. Health, finances, divorces, children problems, legal problems, straight up real witchcraft and more. How do we truly put up barriers of protection around us, our homes, families, finances and more. How do we defeat the devil and then KEEP him away?
We will delve into erecting effective barriers in the spirit to surround our home. We will learn prayers to protect our children and discover how to protect our souls. This seminar is filled with practical tools that you can begin to use immediately. We will also cover how to stand firm when in the fires.
Donation Teaching Seminar with Lynn Donovan
$25.00
Pay now
The post Praying For Protection Seminar appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
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