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Easter is next Sunday so we will take a break from our Healthy Relationships Study. Let’s focus our time on the Greatest Event in History, the Holy Week.
It’s Monday for most readers here at Sum. Today marks the Triumphant Entry of Jesus into Jerusalem.
Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King
11 As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples, 2 saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 3 If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.’”
4 They went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, 5 some people standing there asked, “What are you doing, untying that colt?” 6 They answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go. 7 When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. 8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. 9 Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted,
“Hosanna!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
10 “Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”
11 Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve.
My friends, Mark, Chapter 11, changed my life. Get out your Bible. Read it. Did you watch the Chosen when Jesus entered the city? How does this week make you feel?
See you in the comments. Leave a message for me about Jesus and this week. Love and hugs, Lynn
The post Easter, And A Break in Our Relationships Study appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
Sandra Bleser
Elkhorn, Wisconsin
Married 20 years – no children
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!”
“The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.” (Psalm 69:32)
Thank you so much for your dedication to this ministry. I can say that God spoke to me through a comment within a podcast where you were being interviewed about a year ago and it has transformed the hopelessness and despair. I was suffering to hope.
We were not meant to change or fix others, only what we can change, which is ourselves. God is the one who changes hearts and minds.”
I recently noticed that you were inquiring about thoughts on how to address personality traits on the SUMA site. May I share some revelations I’ve learned as I’ve been on my journey toward redemption, healing, and restoration:
I think it’s wise to learn about the different types of personalities as well as my own. They not only help us to understand but become aware and watchful of the areas we’re most likely to be prone to temptation … kind of like the 90/10 rule.
God has blessed each of us with a unique mix of traits that I believe are meant to be reflections of His character (so our traits were originally created as good!).
Satan was originally good but became corrupt. I think it’s the same for us (and he uses this to sidetrack and prevent us from experiencing and praising God’s goodness—hence the original sin).
Our unique mix of traits were from God to give Him glory (like the fruits of the spirit), but it’s the 10% part of us that is more prone to certain influences (temptations)—the imperfections caused by the original sin curse that trip us up from expressing the “fruits of the spirit” within our heart, mind, and soul.
The “brokenness” of our personalities is like everything else in creation since the fall…imperfect, and the curse is that our lives ARE a constant struggle until we are called home to Jesus.
But as with everything else, we CAN overcome in Jesus. Satan wants us keep thinking we’re bad, rotten to the core, unredeemable—and it’s a powerful trick. After all Adam and Eve’s first “corrupt feeling” was shame.
However, it’s a simple shift in perspective. If we see the “goodness” our unique mix of traits are, and a gift from God, we can begin to identify and approach the imperfections (traits where we’re most prone to temptation) as helpful “intelligence” as we fight the battle each day.
I now think of these as the “thorns in my flesh” that Paul was speaking in 2 Cor 12:6-10. We should not be upset or fearful, rather, rejoice! “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (vs. 9).
God has given to each what He thinks is necessary to keep us humble and reliant upon Him instead of ourselves.
To be able to identify the traits we have within us is a glorious and encouraging revelation! It provided me great hope, joy, strength, and healing because I knew what “goodness” within me to FOCUS upon, cultivate, and express for God’s glory, and to become more watchful, strong, and quick to surrender to God when I’m tempted:)
Hope this helps, and may God continue to guide, direct, and bless the ministry He’s appointed you to!
Friends, please share your thoughts on how you view God’s perspective on our mix of traits. See you in the comments.
REMINDER: The information shared in this series of posts, Healthy Relationships, is to add to our understanding of our relationships and with some specifics to marriage. The information I share has been vetted to the best of my ability. I may not have the full scope of practices or ministries of which I’ve obtained information or share.
Additionally, many post contain REAL LIFE experiences from our readers here at SUM. We will not judge or criticize anyone here for their experiences. We choose to love and we choose to learn. Because we will find ourselves and our friends within the process of these stories.
Please offer your thoughts and wisdom. We are all on a journey together. Blessings and hugs, Lynn Donovan
The post God’s Unique Mix of Traits appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
Kendra Leathen is a mental health counselor at Elite DNA Behavioral Health, where she works with individuals and families healing from trauma, addiction, and relational wounds. With a background in teaching and a Master of Science degree in Mental and Clinical Health Counseling from Palm Beach Atlantic University and Master of Arts in Theological studies from Liberty University, she is passionate about helping people break cycles of shame and rediscover their voice, identity, and worth. She is mother to an adult son who is currently attending Southeastern University and lives in Boynton Beach, South Florida. Kendra brings both lived experience and clinical insight to her writing and counseling. She enjoys meaningful conversations, music, time with family, and mango flavored smoothies. Her life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 — “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hi Lynn,
Thank you for opening this conversation. As a mental health professional and a Christian wife who has experienced narcissistic abuse, I believe this topic is not only timely but deeply necessary—especially on platforms that seek marriage restoration.
I also want to acknowledge that you have been a part of this journey with me. During that period, your willingness to hold space for hard truths, to listen, and to encourage wisdom alongside faith has mattered more to me than you may have realized. Unintentionally, many well-meaning marriage restoration ministries overlook the reality that some spouses are trapped in dynamics with abusive partners who have significant personality disorders. Too often, believers—particularly women—are told to “just stay and pray,” without adequate recognition of ongoing emotional, psychological, spiritual, or physical harm.
I experienced this personally. I remained in an abusive marriage for years after being encouraged by seemingly well-intentioned pastors to stay, despite clear patterns of abuse, infidelity, and unfaithfulness to God. The impact was profound, and it required years of counseling, healing work, and spiritual restoration to untangle the damage caused—not only by the marriage itself, but by the spiritual minimization of abuse.
I also believe Christian women need to understand how trauma affects the brain and body. This is not simply about the question of staying or leaving a marriage—it is about health and, in some cases, life itself. Repeated exposure to lies, manipulation, fear, and emotional abuse activate chronic stress responses. Over time, this impacts brain functioning, nervous system regulation, and even the immune system. Trauma is not only spiritual or emotional; it is physiological. Prolonged abuse can weaken the body, increase anxiety and depression, and contribute to long-term health consequences.
When we frame these situations solely as a test of faith or endurance, we risk overlooking the very real psychological and biological toll. The Church must grow in its understanding of personality disorders, trauma, and the difference between sacrificial love and enabling harm. Faith should never be used to silence discernment or keep someone unsafe.
Thank you for your humility in inviting others to contribute and for creating space for honest dialogue. I truly believe this work can bring clarity, healing, and freedom to many who feel unseen or misunderstood in spiritually mismatched and emotionally unsafe relationships.
If you have found a portion of yourself in this story, please share with me. I will pray for you. Your sister in Faith, Kendra
REMINDER: The information shared in this series of posts, Healthy Relationships, is to add to our understanding of our relationships and with some specifics to marriage. The information I share has been vetted to the best of my ability. I may not have the full scope of practices or ministries of which I’ve obtained information or share.
Additionally, many post contain REAL LIFE experiences from our readers here at SUM. We will not judge or criticize anyone here for their experiences. We choose to love and we choose to learn. Because we will find ourselves and our friends within the process of these stories.
Please offer your thoughts and wisdom. We are all on a journey together. Blessings and hugs, Lynn Donovan
The post Prolonged Abuse appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
REMINDER: The information shared in this series of posts, Healthy Relationships, is to add to our understanding of our relationships and with some specifics to marriage. The information I share has been vetted to the best of my ability. I may not have the full scope of practices or ministries of which I’ve obtained information or share.
Additionally, many post contain REAL LIFE experiences from our readers here at SUM. We will not judge or criticize anyone here for their experiences. We choose to love and we choose to learn. Because we will find ourselves and our friends within the process of these stories.
Please offer your thoughts and wisdom. We are all on a journey together. Blessings and hugs, Lynn Donovan
I found this very interesting from the Love Doctor. This is merely one attachment style. Does this attachment style sound familiar to you? See you in the comments.
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The post Long Term Marriage – Dismissive Avoidant appeared first on Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
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