Ode to Dads, Even If It’s a Strained Relationship and more...

For some of us, Father’s Day is a more difficult day. It’s hard to believe my Dad passed away from colon cancer 21 years ago.

For so many years our relationship was strained, as my parents divorced after 37 years of marriage. He intimidated me because he was sometimes verbally and even physically abusive to my family growing up.

My parents divorced in 1997, Dad remarried in 1998, and he was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1999. He fought hard for five years until he lost his battle to cancer in 2004.

Dad and I visiting a few weeks before he passed away with colon cancer in August 2004.

The Lord helped heal our relationship. I know my Dad loved me the best way he knew how. Was he the perfect Dad? Absolutely not. Did I disrespect him sometimes? I’m embarrassed to say I did, and I regret that.

One Sunday I was listening to a sermon on the Ten Commandments. I never before realized that the “Honor your father and mother” commandment is the ONLY one tied to a promise.

–“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” –Exodus 20:12 NIV

Notice it doesn’t say “Honor your father and mother” if he is always kind to you, affirms you, is/was the model Dad. My heart was transformed after hearing that sermon.

I’m thankful for those five years the Lord extended Dad’s life for me to forgive him and for us to renew our relationship. I looked at my Dad with a lens of honor, reverence and respect.

I began thanking him for all the blessings he brought to my life, instead of comparing him with my friends’ sweet Dads who took them out on Daddy/Daughter dates growing up. Dads who they wanted to marry men just like. Dads who walked them down the aisle.

Friend, I don’t know what your earthly relationship may be with your Dad. I encourage you to dig down deep and send or give him a card with some of the ways you are thankful for your Dad. If he is in heaven, you can write them in your journal.

If your Dad was abusive to you, or abandoned you, or was a deadbeat Dad, understandable boundaries are there. Or if  you may not know where or who your earthly Dad is, heart also aches with you. I wish I was there to hug you and cry with you. Please remember we all have our Heavenly Father, Abba, Daddy, with us. He will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us.

Although Dad’s in heaven, here are just a few of my lessons he taught me for which I am thankful:

1. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me how to check the oil dipstick in my old car, so that I never messed up my engine or blew my transmission. That little Ford Escort hatchback car I drove in high school burnt a quart of oil every 200 or so miles. Smile. I loved that car and am grateful that I had it.
2. Thank you, Dad, for providing for my needs and many of my wants. We were blessed with a house, plenty of food to eat, clothes and shoes. You even paid for my out-of-state college education. It was such a gift not to have to pay back college loans.
3. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me to appreciate the outdoors and fishing. You even taught me to cast a fishing rod and how to bait my own hooks. I wasn’t squeamish about the worms and minnows MOST of the time.
4. Thank you, Dad, for taking us to church most times the door was open. Your dedication to the Lord and His Word helped mold my faith.
5. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me how to budget my money and spend wisely. I remember how you paid bills promptly and taught me how to abhor debt. I still to this day try to avoid debt, except for my mortgages.
6. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me a strong work ethic. You worked hard at Delta Air Lines for 33 years before you retired. You liked to finish tasks you started and showed me follow through and doing what you said you would do.
7. Thank you, Dad, for showing me to volunteer in the community and help others behind-the-scenes. You used to mow and weed eat the end of our street where no one would mow. You also mowed around the Turkey Creek bridge in Hanahan where you would walk daily. You thought no one knew. We knew and appreciated your quiet good deeds.
8. Thank you, Dad, for trying to come to many of my basketball and volleyball games. Your presence was such a present.

Dad, I pray you can see from heaven I’m trying to carry on the Jordan legacy. Rest assured that I love my Heavenly Daddy–my Abba–with my whole soul. Thank you for loving me, Dad, the best way you knew how. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

Dad, me, Mom, and brother Jamie at my college graduation in 1994.

Reflect:

–What are some ways you are thankful for your earthly father?  Please comment. I’d love to hear your stories, positive or negative.

Renew:

–“ Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

Now have come the salvation and the power
and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They triumphed over him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony…” –Revelation 12:10-11

–“Listen to your father, who gave you life…” –Proverbs 23:22a NIV

–“The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad…” –Proverbs 23:24-25a NIV

Recharge:

–What is something you can do today or this week to honor your Dad?

–If your relationship with your father is strained, please prayerfully consider reaching out and forgiving him WITH boundaries. I reached out years ago. It wasn’t easy. I’m so thankful we reconciled before he passed away. God is faithful.

     

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Happy June! This message is what my soul needs as we kick off the summer. I pray it encourages you.

A couple of years ago I went away to a week-long, wonderful retreat in Tennessee. We were told they would be procuring our cell phones and all electronic devices on Monday and we would receive them again on Sunday, right before the shuttle bus would take us back to the airport, departing for home.

I admit I went through withdrawals from my Smartphone the first day. Even without texting, email and social media access, I did not realize I would even miss referencing the Weather app and the calculator.

And then it happened. My senses were heightened.

I noticed the way the breeze rustled through the maple leaves as I rocked in the tree swing.   I looked up and paid attention to the shape of the clouds as they glided by. I paid attention to the clink of the chain against the spring on the tree swing as I gently rocked back and forth.

As the week continued, I looked more people in the eye for longer. I noticed the color of their eyes, their laugh lines, the white of their teeth as they smiled. Even my food tasted better as I chewed. I even laughed more. I was much more aware of my surroundings.

Why had I not noticed before?  Why have I not paid more attention? What have I been doing? The answer is simple. Rushing and looking down at my Smartphone. Too busy to savor the moments of this precious life we are given.

“Pay” attention. The verb we use before the word “attention” causes me to ponder. Pay. Like paying for an item in a store. There is a cost NOT to pay attention. There is value. There is sacrifice. Yes, I desire to pay more attention.

The Bible is full of passages about “paying” attention.

“Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach.” –Proverbs 22:17 NIV

“The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your GOD that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.” –Deuteronomy 28:13 NIV

“My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight.” –Proverbs 5:1 NIV

“You have seen many things, but have paid no attention; your ears are open, but you hear nothing.” –Isaiah 42:20 NIV

“We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. –Hebrews 2:1 NIV

“And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.” –2 Peter 1:19 NIV

Forgive me, Lord. Forgive the blinders of my eyes and heart. Forgive my hurried pace. Forgive me for looking down at my Smartphone and not looking up. Please help me pay more attention.  Help me notice You, Lord. Help me pay attention to Your majesty, from the gorgeous full moon to the fresh morning dew in my front lawn to the bright hydrangeas in my yard.. Beauty surrounds us if we look.  Paying attention is worth the cost, Lord. I pray to experience life through Your lens and Your timing. In Jesus’ Name, By the Power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

 Reflect:

–How would you rank your life’s pace? Please comment.

–Would you challenge yourself to fast from your phone and social media for a week?

–What intentional act will you do to unrush yourself? How?  Please comment.

Recharge:

–Please enjoy at least one unrushed moment with your spouse, child, loved one today.

–Savoring a few minutes of prayer and quiet devotional time in the Bible sets a more unrushed pace and peace for the day to pay more attention.

     

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I had read it before, the Bible story about Moses and the 12 tribes on the mount of blessings and curses. It finally sunk in this time. The story in the Bible in Deuteronomy 27-28 of how Moses commanded the 12 tribes of Israel to go stand on two mountains that were side by side.

“That day Moses charged the people, saying ‘When you have crossed over the Jordan, these shall stand on Mount Gerizim to bless the people: Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Joseph, and Benjamin. And these shall stand on Mount Ebal for the curse: Reuben, Gad, Asher, Zebulun, Dan, and Naphtali.'” –Deuteronomy 27:11-14.

The curses are spelled out in the remainder of Deuteronomy 27. Then the beautiful blessings are detailed in Deuteronomy 28. I had even heard some of those blessings in a marriage ceremony for one of my friends years ago.

It wasn’t until I went to Israel and actually saw Mount Gerizim and Mount Ebal side by side in Schechm that the magnitude of the 2400-year-old blessings and curses sank in. Although the mountains are side by side, the difference in the terrain and topography are stark. Mount Gerizim, the mountain of blessings, is lush and green, full of bushes, trees and plants. Mount Ebal, the mountain of curses right beside it, is arid, lifeless, no vegetation of plants thriving and growing.

Mt. Gerizim thrives and Mt. Ebal is desolate

The message immediately hit me of the power of our words. The generations later of speaking blessings, sincere compliments and building up others shows the effects with growth and a thriving environment. The generations later of speaking curses and tearing down people shows the effects with death and desert.

Following this passage is the powerful declaration in Deutoronomy 30 to choose life. “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.” –Deuteronomy 30:19-20 ESV. 

Reflect:

How has the power of words impacted you? Which mountain are you on because of them?

How does this message impact how you speak and the power of your words?

Lord, forgive me for the times I have spoken any curses or negativity in my words.  Lord, as Deuteronomy 30:19 says, may I always choose life in all that I do and say. I pray for your favor in fertilizing the power of my words, so that each word produces growth and multiplies in a green, lush environment for generations to come. In Jesus’ name, by the Power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

      

The older I get, the more I am focused on eating healthy, exercising and trying to take better care of my body, mind, soul and spirit. For so much of my life I had not focused on healthy eating.

Reading a chapter or two in my Bible each day has also been another way to strengthen my body, mind, soul and spirit.

Recently I read through 2 Peter, and I could tell they were unread pages in my Bible.  I was blown away by what I read in 2 Peter 1. It says it all. I’m quoting straight from the Bible.

The passage in my Bible is entitled “Confirm Your Calling and Election.”

 His divine power has granted to us ALL things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with

1. Virtue, and virtue with
2. Knowledge,  and knowledge with
3. Self-control, and self-control with
4. Steadfastness, and steadfastness with
5. Godliness, and godliness with
6. Brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with
7. Love.  (I added the numbers for emphasis of 7 supplements). 

For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 

Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.–2 Peter 1:3-8 ESV. 

Isn’t that amazing? How straightforward can it get? Just like I consume daily multi-vitamins and supplements to boost my immune system and health, the Lord provides seven supplements for us to increase our faith.

1.Virtue, like integrity;

2. Knowledge to keep learning, reading, listening to podcasts;

3. Self-control, like discipline (which is also a Fruit of the Holy Spirit);

4. Steadfastness to persevere;

5. Godliness in an effort to try to sin less and be more like Jesus;

6. Brotherly affection, being kind to everyone; and

7. LOVE. God is love. The Great Commandment is to Love God and Love each other.

May we live out every day with our seven supplements of faith. You Shine! Love you.

Reflect:

How are you living out these supplements of faith today? Too hard? Easy?

      

With just five days before Mother’s Day, let’s ponder our moms for a bit.  What are you planning to do honor your Mom?

This Mother’s Day, let’s try something different. Let’s try to write at least 30 memories or characteristics you’re grateful for with your Mom. Then write or type them, cut them into slips of paper, and give to her for Mother’s Day in a little box. She can enjoy reading a month of encouragement over and over, one for each day. This is what I have done for my Mom, and she LOVED it. She still has the box in her bedroom.

This blog or box simply cannot contain my gratitude. The following are the first 11 Mom gratitude memories:

1) Thank you for praying for me for years before I was even conceived. Since my only brother Jamie is 12 years older than me, you said you suffered miscarriages and complications as you and Dad tried for more children after Jamie. You were about to give up when you found out you were pregnant with me.  Thanks be to God for His plan and His timing. Thank you for being my Mom.

2) Thank you for serving as a room mother in elementary school and chaperoning our field trips.

3) Thank you for dancing and for teaching me to dance. I always loved watching you and your brothers, your family shag dancing to beach music at my grandmother’s home growing up. I remember after Thanksgiving meals that the men would push aside the dinner table to create a large dance floor, perfect for dancing and making a “Soul Train”  line. We had so much fun. Watching you dance is a joy.

4) Thank you for displaying the Fruit of the Spirit each day and showing me Jesus’ unconditional love through you. “But the fruit of the Spirit IS (that means all one fruit) love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and  self-control. Against such things there is no law.” –Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

5) Thank you for showing me your encouraging, Barnabas personality. You are the Peacemaker in our extended family and Dad’s family and have such a magnetic personality with your friends. Youa re well respected and well loved.

6) Thank you for attending all my home and away basketball and volleyball games in high school.  Sometimes you and Dad were two of a few parents.

7) Thank you for the example of your well-read, well-worn Bible that shows to me and to anyone how “Thy Word is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path.” Psalm 119:105.  If we may be the only Bible someone may ever read, you radiate the Word. “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” John 1:14a NIV

8) Thank you for making me have a curfew, even though I didn’t appreciate it at the time. I so respect the healthy rules and boundaries you set for me growing up. You set them with love.

9) Thank you for teaching me the love of flowers and God’s majesty. I appreciate that you asked me growing up to “dead-head” our 100+ roses each day after school in our garden. I will always remember the wonderful fragrance of roses in every room of our home growing up–what a gift.

10) Thank you for letting me go away to college out of state to Appalachian State University. I know it was a sacrifice for our family to pay the higher tuition. I appreciate the investment and pray you know in my heart it was worth every penny.

11) Thank you for giving me the grace and freedom and wide open space to fail and succeed, knowing you would love me unconditionally.  You are the best cheerleader and encourager I know.

Do you struggle with this upcoming holiday?  Some have beloved Moms who are in heaven. Some struggle with their relationship with their Mom. If either is the case, my hearts hurts as yours does. I encourage you to seek out an older lady in your life who can or currently serves as a mentor to you. Please consider honoring her for Mother’s Day. Some Moms are blood-related. Others are related by the blood of Jesus.

Reflect:

–How do you plan to honor your Mom for Mother’s Day? Please comment.

Renew:

–“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” –Exodus 20:12 NIV

–“Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopus), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, ‘Dear woman, here is your son.’ And he said to this disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from then on this disciple took her into his home.” –John 19-25-27 NLT

Recharge:

–Which mentor lady in your life will you show appreciation for?

—“All I am I owe to my Mother.” –Abraham Lincoln

     

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