Are You The Argumentative Communicator Who Ends Up Being Avoided? By Ange Fonce Do you enjoy playing the devils advocate? Are you constantly offering your opposing opinion when it is not asked for? Do you find yourself saying the word but often in your ...

 

 

 


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Are You The Argumentative Communicator Who Ends Up Being Avoided? By Ange Fonce





Are You The Argumentative Communicator

Who Ends Up Being Avoided?


By Ange Fonce


Do you enjoy playing the devils advocate? 

Are you constantly offering your opposing opinion when it is not asked for? 

Do you find yourself saying the word but often in your conversation with others?

You may be an argumentative talker and I know from personal experience such people can be very frustrating to build effective communication with that can be of benefit to both of you. 

This is not an effective way to take an opposing view of others opinions... beliefs and values and it will destroy rapport. 

This is not a way to express your opinion and it may be received as unwanted advice and resisted. 

When you continue to oppose the comments of your listener you run the risk of making them feel wrong... stupid or uninformed and that is not a productive way to build rapport with them in fact you will get the opposite response and they will resist you and even fight back at you.

Men and women seem to view communication differences in different ways and I often notice that men will say... 

"We had a debate." 

"We had an intense conversation." 

And women will indicate that they had... 

"We had a fight." 

"We had an argument."

The argumentative communicator whether it is a man or a woman best be aware that their communication efforts may immediately be perceived as a fight being the worst of the four above labels regardless of the intent of the communicator.

I find a good debate stimulating and enlightening and debates generally can be described as a structured discussion where individuals cite evidence about an issue in an attempt to persuade another person and debate is an intellectual process where it is okay and preferable to be able to prove the point being made and while I do enjoy debating very much... I do not enjoy arguing which is emotionally based.

Arguing is where two or more people disagree about some subject and they raise their voices and make the discussion personal by bringing in the other persons intentions because they are no longer listening... they are ATTACKING!

So what is the difference then between debate and an argument?

In debate we cite evidence with the intent to persuasively validate our point of view. 

It is like a chess game.

In arguments we cite evidence and make claims about the negative intention of the other persons behaviour and become very emotional to the point where apologies will be in order after the communication is finished because one or both parties will have their feelings hurt and in an argument the individual feels attacked and when the attack is perceived as hostile with intention to harm... I call this a fight.

Perceptions are tricky things... one person may be simply debating or discussing a subject intellectually with no intent to harm... the other person may perceive such communication as intending to harm them and they feel as if they are in a fight with a need to defend themselves instead of their point of view!

Sometimes it takes quite a long time for the person who is debating to finally figure out that the other person is upset and fighting.

There are no easy and clearly defined answers to rapidly determine whether someone thinks YOU are arguing... fighting... debating or discussing so it is vital to ask if it is okay to have this conversation or at least smile. 

It is also important to keep sarcasm out of discussions and debates if it is not obvious to the other person that you are having fun with them... instead of poking fun at them.





The Argumentative Communicator Needs To Be Right


They want to defeat their opponent as if the dining room... the bedroom  which is a really stupid place to create negative anchors and the boardroom is a courtroom where only one person can win.

Whether at home on the road or in business it is critical to remember that it is very easy for no one to win.

This does not mean to stop disagreeing or intellectually pursuing what is good and right and it is very important to make sure those we have discussions with do not feel attacked.

There is an additional problem. 

You and I both know that we often take possession of our ideas as if they were our identity and if peoples ideas and verbalized thoughts are always experienced at the level of ones identity then any debate will become perceived as fighting or arguing and when this pattern of communication erupts it is important to separate the idea from the person. 

This does not stop discussion and debates from becoming arguments and fights yet it does add clarity to the conversation.





The Magical Question 


If you are discussing something with someone and they perceive you as argumentative I suggest you ask the person... 

"How can I present counter examples and other points of view to you so that you are not offended and your feelings are not hurt?" 

I thought of this wonderful question many times when it was simply too late to ask.

If you experience numerous people saying things like... 

"You just love to argue don't you?" 

"Why do you always argue with me." 

"I do not want to fight with you." 

Then regardless of whether you are fighting with people or not you need to reconsider your approach to communication so you are perceived as less abrasive.

Many times people who are intellectuals whether they are intellectual snobs or not are considered argumentative simply because they have such a broad or deep knowledge about something that they are constantly the individual with superior knowledge about a subject.

This can lead others to feeling inferior and in these situations it can be useful for the person perceived as superior and therefore the one who often puts others on edge or on the defensive to reduce the number of verbalizations in a communication and tighten up their communication style

Make long speeches shorter and ask more questions and have fewer total words spoken in dialogue.

Remember... where one person seems to know everything the other person is not necessary or at least that is how they feel.

Most brilliant people got that way because they were incredibly inquisitive and this too can become a problem and asking questions of others is a great way to learn about how others feel... think and believe and know it or not there are lines that can be crossed here as well!

I have found myself asking questions when I used to argue like it was a hobby and such questions that were sharp and cutting and critical by implication.

I stopped that habit and even ceasing intentional criticism or contempt is not always enough for how others FEEL about you or what they PERCEIVE you are TRYING TO SAY with your questions.

There are other problems that come from great inquisitors... notice how that word it may not be a word by the way is like the word inquisition? 

Yes... me too because lots of people can FEEL like your questions are not questions and an interrogation whether you intend that or not... sometimes you are just trying to figure out the person or their thinking process and all of a sudden you are called a cop or police officer or something similar.

People process their thoughts through their feelings and you can ask someone what they are thinking and they will say... 

"I do not know." 

"Nothing." 

"Not much." 

"Nothing important." 

And so on as these people are not planning major life events in their mind they are simply in the moment in their feelings and because they process information differently from verbalizing thinkers and they often feel inadequate in a relationship or are pegged as poor communicators

In fact they may not be good communicators and they can improve their communication skills if others do not put an enormous amount of pressure on them.

If you are a person who takes time to process external information and you do not communicate well about information you have just received... a good strategy to appear more competent is to say things like... 

"I need to consider what you have said and to ponder it." 

"Let me think about what you have said and I would like to talk with you tomorrow about it when I have taken the time it deserves." 

"My initial reaction is positive and I would like to take some more time to consider it."

What this does is allow the two parties to know that there is no problem with what was communicated by the verbalizing party and that they are indeed considering the information and not ignoring it as verbalizes often feel others are doing to them.

Non verbalizes the people who use few words in the course of a day or a conversation often become angry when they are asked to express more than they already have said... this leads them to argue from their feeling base... 

"Why do you always make me feel bad?" 

"You are mean." 

"You do not respect my feelings." 

They might raise their voice and repeat the same sets of feelings or thoughts over and over and they are now arguing.

Instead the nonverbalizer can share information like this... 

"I am starting to get upset and it is because I am not able to put my feelings into words yet... I am not upset with you and I do not want to be so let me ponder this and let us talk again tomorrow about it."

Meanwhile the verbalizing people who share lots of information in communication get upset and angry when others do not respond in like kind... someone who communicates 50 out of 60 minutes will feel the other person is holding back or covering up or those they just do not care... these things upset the verbalizer and once upset as with all communication about to go wrong... emotions will get the best of the verbalizer and communication will deteriorate rapidly... because the verbalizer is able to deliver words in large volume and speed the verbalizer also is more likely to be deemed argumentative when he or she gets upset... their voice will raise and become angry.

The verbalizre needs to share their feelings now. 

"I am starting to become angry because I feel as if you are not sharing with me what I am asking you for... am I reading you right?" 

It is very important that the nonverbalizer does not take this communication as blaming because the nonverbalizer is by definition someone who does not communicate as much and certainly not as quickly as a verbalizer.

What can you do if you are dealing with an argumentative communicator?

Tell the person you do not enjoy arguing and that you will discuss options and ideas.

Tell the person you respect their point of view and you disagree.

If necessary tell the person that this subject is something you do not like to continue discussing because it is personal or volatile... this is okay for business of course and not going to do the trick in long term relationships.

Speak your point of view clearly and what it would take for you to re evaluate your point of view... ask the person is being right more important than your feelings?" 

In other words what is at stake? 

Safety? 

Life or Death? 

Some long term issue? 

Or is it about whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or end?

Suggest the person frame their comments in a more gentle fashion... 

"I know you are not saying that to attack me... it just hurts when you say it that way."

"Instead of yelling allow yourself to speak calmly and then I will be able to listen to you better."

"If you stop calling me names when we talk I would be a lot less defensive... deal?"

What can you do if you are an argumentative communicator?

Ask more questions and LISTEN to what is being shared with you!

Be interested in how the other people in your life came to believe and think what they think.

Be aware that not everyone perceives discussion... debate... arguing and fighting in the same way and find out what those important to you believe about each of these things.

Ask the important people in your life specifically how you can communicate with them to help them know you do not want to argue and to discuss.

Determine why you need to be right or make someone else wrong in heated communications.

Always think of your intention... if your intention is gentle speak more quietly as people associate quieter tones with gentler intentions.

Show people you care in ways other than verbally so they know you care when you do argue.

If you find yourself getting into a heated discussion ask the other person if they feel you are arguing or discussing... ask what the difference would be for them.

Ask your friend... association... partner how you can communicate without giving the appearance of arguing.

Be certain that you make clear your intention so it is not misunderstood!





Mind Your Thoughts 


Life can fill your mind with emotional clutter...

"When will my boss decide on the promotion?"

"Did I remember to change over the laundry?"

"How can I finish my presentation and still see my friends this weekend?"

If you head to a first meet up with some one new thinking about these day to day concerns it is less likely to go well you will seem distracted... stressed... less optimistic and less adventurous and argumentitive!

Obviously this is not what anyone wants on a meet up... you want to be relaxed... playful... confident and self assured and focused.

How do you get yourself into that mind space?

Well some people suggest you should find something that helps you shift gears.

Take a bath... go for a walk... change your outfit... listen to music and in my opinion there is one very simple technique that works best.

Take out a piece of paper and empty your thoughts and write down all the stuff you need to remember to do later and if you use a software based system for reminders... transfer that list there.

Here is the key... 

Writing something down declutters your thoughts... when you get it down on paper you trust that you have a reminder to think about it again later and that allows you to let it go... it frees up your mind.

The effect is much more powerful than most people realize and before your next meet up make sure you invest the time to do it.

And if you like it make it a regular 2 minute routine before every meet up.

You will feel a lot better and be more relaxed when you meet up with that person.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationship to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE





"Transformation Happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.










        
 
 
 

The Tragedy Of Crushed Expectations By Ange Fonce





The Tragedy Of Crushed Expectations 


By Ange Fonce


Take a hundred students at most Universities and ask if they expect to be up for a good job when they graduate and all of them will say yes.

Ask a bright 10 year old girl if she expects to have a chance at a career as a mathematician and the odds are she has already been brainwashed into saying no.

Our expectations of what we would like to be are not guarantees of what will happen and yet expectations give us the opportunity to act as if... to trade now for later... to invest in hard work and productive dreaming on our way to making an impact.




Expectations Work For Two Reasons 


First... 

They give us the enthusiasm and confidence to do the hard work. 

Second... 

Like a placebo they subtly change our attitude and give us the resilience to make it through the rough spots and gives us the energy to persist.

When our culture... our media... our power structures... our society says... 

"People who look like you should not expect to have a life like that." 

We are stealing... stealing from people capable of achieving more and stealing from our community as well. 

How can our society that is us by the way me and you say... 

"We do not expect you to graduate." 

"We do not expect you to lead." 

"We do not expect you to be trusted to make a difference?"

When people are pushed to exchange their passion and their effort for the false solace of giving up and lowering their expectations we all lose. 

And almost as bad in the other direction when they substitute the reality of expectations for the quixotic quest of impossibly large and unrealistic dreams we lose as well. 

Disneyesque dreams are a form of hiding because Prince Charming is not coming any time soon.

Expectations are not guarantees. 

Positive thinking does not guarantee results all it offers is something better than negative thinking.

Expectations that do not match what is possible are merely false dreams. 

And expectations that are too small are a waste of time and energy

We need teachers... leaders and peers who will help us dig in deeper and discover what is possible so we can push to make it likely.

Expectations are not wishes they are part of a straightforward equation of making it happen and getting it done

This work plus that effort plus these bridges lead to a likelihood of that outcome. 

It is a clear eyed awareness of what is possible combined with a community that shares your vision.

It is easy to manipulate the language of expectations and turn it into a bootstrapping and making do you are on your own sort of abandonment. 

An expectation can be contagious. 

Expectation comes from the culture of our thinking. like if you expect the best... then most likely the best will happen!

And most of all positive expectation depends on support... persistent and generous support to create a place where creative and productive outcomes can occur.

To create what you want to create.

Since when has negative expectations and punishment ever created anything AMAZING?

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE




"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future." 


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.






        
 
 
 

Love Sickness A Simple Way To Help You To Deal With Obsession By Ange Fonce





L
ove Sickness A Simple Way To Help You To Deal With Obsession


By Ange Fonce


Have you ever felt completely obsessed by a person and do not know what to do?

Obsession... where you cannot eat... sleep or look at a phone or social profile without thinking about them?

Where you spend most of your time trying to figure out what went wrong or why they have not called or why they are all of a sudden so distant?

Most of my clients have been through that sometimes over and over again and I remember that feeling myself of dread in my stomach over a woman and it just makes you feel like you are back in high school?

Like your hormones seem to have complete control over your body and your mind and you are just living off of the crumbs they have given you or what you remember they once gave you?

It does not have to be like that.

Just because you are sensitive... kind and caring does not mean you have to give yourself up to keep your partner in fact it is just the opposite.

You keep your partner always moving toward you by reducing their importance in your life... sounds easy I know there is a way to make this change for yourself that is not hard work or painful... it just takes a step by step approach and you have to know the steps.

I remember a woman taking over so many of my thoughts that it seemed like she was taking over my life and I remember that happening over and over again like a record I could not turn off and I felt humiliated... frustrated and why was this keep happening to me?

And when I did figure it out the record stopped and the women who showed up were completely different than those women I had been so hung up on and if I can do this so can you... even if you have never had a full blown obsession with a man or woman where you can barely imagine living without them and always live in fear of them breaking up with you.

Here is a simple and effective tool to help you get started so let us start using this tool by me asking you some questions?

Have you ever run your schedule around them?

Made your plans around them?

Watched what you said and did not say around them? 

Wanted to make them happy and make them love you so much that you forgot how to just be yourself?

Thought their moods were your fault? 

Thought when they withdrew that what you needed to do was be nicer and more loving?

Well the first thing to do that will work the fastest to reduce the importance of that person in your life even if they are THE most important thing... I do not want you to allow them to become the ONLY important thing... is to stop doing all of the above.

That means... 

No scheduling around them. 

No making plans around them. 

No watching what you say and do not say. 

No trying to make them happy or make them love you. 

No nice and no understanding when something they do or does not do makes YOU unhappy.

The second thing is to get something else IMPORTANT into your life and that would be YOU.

Here is how it works.





First Step 


You look out a window and imagine what it is that you love aside from them.

Imagine the love in your heart all that energy and passion going out the window to that thing you love doing. 

It might be painting or the beach or giving to those less fortunate or helping people in your special and unique way.

These two steps sound easy and they are if you are willing to put your FOCUS back on yourself because before you can make any kind of change you have to want to transform yourself.

And it is hard to want something you have never seen or done before except with things you do not care about and it is hard to trust if you have never seen it work and that it WILL work.

And yet I have seen it work brilliantly in my own life and in the lives of others and my clients.

It works and you will not be the one man or woman it does not work for and no matter how unusual you think you are... no matter how low your personal esteem... no matter how scattered your thoughts or how negative you feel right at this moment it will work with the investment of time and effort on your part.

Now let us work with this tool to help you with obsession...

As soon as you stop doing all the people pleasing behaviours you have been doing you will see two things happen...

One your man or woman or the person emailing you or the person you are meeting for the first time will sit up and notice that YOU are a Confident person!

They will notice you are calm because you will probably be the first man or woman they have met who does not need to think about how they are doing before thinking about how you are doing!

They will notice that there is absolutely no pressure in being with you.

They will notice that you TRUST them enough to be yourself instead of wondering and caring what they think about you.

And it will be such a relief... such a powerful mysteriously sexy thing for them to be with a man or woman who has boundaries for themselves first and you will see their energy come toward you in a different way than you are used to.

Instead of working hard to get their interest and instead of working at being smart... clever... charming and appealing you will be shocked to notice they will think YOU ARE smart... intelligent... charming... appealing and sexy being your Confident natural self.

You are relaxed and in turn they will relax and that is only step one.




Step Two 


Lets you come alive with the passion you feel for YOUR OWN interests.

They get to be around while you share your feelings and thoughts about small things... yes small talk in a positive context which really does serve a purpose of breaking the ice... like the weather... the restaurant atmosphere... the trip you took last year and almost immediately they start to feel that.. 

"Here is a man or woman with EMOTIONAL DEPTH!"

And they lean in toward you and they listen to you and they asks questions and then when you gently toss the ball back to them with a... 

"And how about you?" 

They have started to feel comfortable with you and tell you things and because you are so not caring about impressing them with talking all about you to people please and show how you understand and hear everything they say if it is interesting right? 

You are able to just lean back and listen and BE THERE with them because most people are so unused to any man or woman JUST BEING there instead of always doing around them all the time and you completely capture their attention and energy because you are GIVING them your ATTENTION instead of trying to get their attention.

And this is how it works.

Even with just this simple bit of information you can start to turn around a relationship you are already in or completely change your love life.

These two steps will change your mind set and the way you think about being in a relationship and what you have to do to keep it going.

Let me know how this simple tool works for you and yes it is simple and very powerful and I look forward to hearing from you about it.

Here is a letter from Lizbeth who turned things around so fast from obsessing over a man and to direct love to herself and focusing on what she loves and likes she is amazed...

"Hi Ange, Maybe not even 5 minutes of me sending this message, Jim buzzed my apartment! He held me and told me how much he had missed me (the last time I saw him was Sunday two weeks ago) - What the?

Surprised, ...u-huh. I'm staring at this man with eyes as big as jumbo marshmallows and not knowing what to say. It was awesome!!! There was absolutely no tension, and it was like there was never any worries or problems between us. BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!!! I don't get it I just started doing what I liked doing!!

Today he worked during the day and I just got home from working the evening shift. I didn't call nor did I feel the need to. Sigh. Big sigh. We are planning on seeing each other tomorrow, according to him. And I'm just going to let him do some the work. In the past, he would show up in the morning and we would go off and do his thing for the day.

Now all of a sudden things have become different and I can't help but feel really cautious about stuff since it seemed like such a 180 over night. Just like you said. Wow, unbelievable and what do I do to continue this. Nothing, right? 

Lizbeth... USA

If Lizbeth did it with just this simple tool you can too!

Let me know how things are going for you and I look forward to every success that happens for you.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE





"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.






        
 
 
 

Do Not Despair Over It Be Monies Boss Not Monies Servant By Ange Fonce





Do
Not Despair Over It Be Monies Boss Not Monies Servant


By Ange Fonce


One of the greatest obstacles to living life fully is money. 

While happiness and contentment definitely cannot be bought it is also true that a lack of money can have devastating effects on anyone and not having sufficient money can cause extreme levels of stress... work problems... marital problems and problems with the rest of the family and so much more. 

How many people are not living full lives because they have to work two or even three jobs just to make ends meet? 

How many people are miserable because they do not feel that they are providing their children with enough of the basics or any of the luxuries of life?

As the societies of the world become more and more materialistic it is more and more common that people base their happiness on possessions. 

How many possessions... what brand names you have or how expensive they are... all become very important to you because you are trying to win the approval and respect of other people. 

This materialism though often leads you to spend more money than you can truly afford and you often end up finding yourself in debt... making large payments on credit cards and not having enough money to do anything today because it all went to make payments. 

So what do you do? 

You charge something else today thus ensuring your future lack of financial security.

The arguments start when one spouse buys something that the other spouse knows they cannot afford or when someones not able to buy new clothes for their children or when payments are being made late and the late charges are piling up or the creditors are calling. 

The stress comes when you look at a pile of bills and have no idea where the money is going to come from to pay them. 

The despair takes over when you start to feel that you are trapped in an inescapable abyss that is eating you alive.

Escape from this sort of situation may look impossible and it is not. 

It does take an investment of time... commitment and patience and you have to realize that from the start and it is possible to stabilize your financial situation. 

There are a number of steps that you can take to fix your finances and each step takes a bit of work and with personal discipline and dedication if you are going to be successful in your attempts to reach financial stability.





Taking Control


1... Knowledge... 

More than anything else you need to know your financial situation intimately. 

You need to know exactly what you owe to whom and how much you have to pay each month in order to meet your obligations. 

You simply will not make any progress if you allow your situation to be unclear and confused. 

You also need to know exactly how much money is coming in and if the amount going out is higher than the amount coming in then something has to change. 

2... A Plan... 

Once you know your financial situation then you need a plan. 

What are you going to do in order to lower monthly bills? 

How are you going to spend less and how are you going to get more money coming in? 

Some people take a part time job and use ALL of the money from that job to pay off debt. 

Others search out help from a debt counselling service where they can help you to lower the payments that you have. 

Most end up having to adjust their spending habits... like buying supermarket brands which are just as good as the brand name products or making lunches for their kids instead of buying lunchables and other expensive products. 

Do you really need those lottery tickets? 

We all have to make choices when we are taking control to stabilize our financial situations.

3... Personal Discipline... 

Once the plan is in place... stick to it no matter what. 

That does not mean that you have to stop living life what it means is that you are doing with less for a while in order to ensure a future that is much less stressful and harmful than the present. 

Make sure that an evening out for dinner every other week is in the plan or even a Saturday morning out for breakfast or a nice weekend lunch out as it is cheaper and you tend to get more food for your money at breakfast and lunch. 

Plan this because your goal here is not to make yourself miserable by depriving yourself and to improve your situation by sticking to a financial plan. 

A day out every once in a while helps to raise your spirits so that you can deal with your struggles more easily.

4... Education... 

Learn. 

And do not just learn about money... learn about yourself and your attitudes and your perspective and find out which parts of yourself may be contributing to financial problems. 

Are you spending too much on your car because you feel insecure and you want acceptance from certain people? 

Are you not looking for a better paying job because you lack confidence in your own abilities? 

The fear of success holds many people back. 

Learn how to make more money with the resources available to you now...

What skills and abilities do you have that will help you to earn money in different ways? 

What skills can you learn to help you earn more money?

5... Action... 

Once you learn act on it. 

Nothing is ever accomplished without action. 

Some things may happen by chance and that is not an accomplishment. 

Your goal is financial stability or affluence and one of the beauties of the world of today is that such a financial situation is available to all of us.

You just have to act and work on your plans.

The pain of financial problems is one that never goes away as long as the problems are there. 

If you begin to work on your problems systematically you will find a sense of peace and satisfaction settling down on your like a nice warm blanket on a cold and rainy day for you know that no matter how bad the situation looks at least you are doing what you can to fix it. 

It takes patience and discipline and it often takes asking someone else for help... such as a debt counselling service and the action you take now can help you to pull out of the desperation you feel and it can ensure a future free from the awful feelings that your present situation is causing. 

That vacation that you cannot take now may be easy to do three or four years from now and you may be ensuring your childrens college educations if you take control now. 

So instead of being a slave to money and letting it stress you out... take control of your finances and be a money Master. 

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a

Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... 

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth!

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE






"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"



Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.





        
 
 
 

This Essential Vitamin For You Health And Wellbeing Vitamin E By Ange Fonce




This Essential Vitamin For You Health And Wellbeing

Vitamin E  


By Ange Fonce


Vitamin E has earned itself a reputation from spicing up your sexing life to banning wrinkles and old age. 

And one of the most important functions of this vitamin is its antioxidant properties

Vitamin E is an essential fat soluble vitamin that includes eight naturally occurring compounds in two classes designated as tocopherols and tocotrienols.

Vitamin E is an effective chain breaking lipid soluble antioxidant in biological membranes and aids in membrane stability.

Vitamin E is the generic name for tocopherol and is available in four different forms.... it is a fat soluble antioxidant which can be obtained only as a food supplement. 

The most widely known health benefits of vitamin E are protection against toxins such as air pollution... premenstrual syndrome... eye disorders such as cataracts and neurological diseases such as Alzheimers disease and diabetes.

The health benefits of vitamin E come from its antioxidant properties.

Antioxidants remove free radicals such as the unstable compounds that damage the cell structure and immunity levels improve when vitamin E is consumed... another important benefit of vitamin E is that it reduces cholesterol and the risk of developing cancer... vitamin E thins the blood which is another significant health benefit... in other words it prevents the blood platelets from clumping and high levels of vitamin E reduce the risk of sunstroke and coronary artery disorder or heart disease.

Another widely known health benefit of vitamin E is in skin care and hair care owing to its antioxidant properties vitamin E promotes the circulation of blood to the scalp... vitamin E helps alleviate fatigue and strengthen capillary walls while nourishing the cells.

Vitamin E oil is extremely versatile... a major benefit of vitamin E oil for the skin is that it helps the healing process. 

As vitamin E is absorbed by the epidermis layer of the skin it can be used for treating sunburn or protecting you from the sun... another wonderful benefit of vitamin E oil is that it can be used to treat scars... acne and wrinkles because it speeds up cell regeneration this creates an anti ageing effect which makes the skin look younger... vitamin E oil benefits the skin by helping it retain its natural moisture content... vitamin E oil makes dull looking dry skin look healthier and fresher... you can apply a few drops of vitamin E oil to your nails and cuticles which is an effective way of treating the skin.



Deficiency Of Vitamin E


Deficiency of Vitamin E is not common and the symptoms not very clear cut and may include fatigue... inflamed varicose veins... wounds healing slowly... premature ageing and sub fertility... when Vitamin E is in short supply symptoms may include acne... anaemia... muscle disease... dementia... cancers... gallstones... shortened red blood cell life span... spontaneous abortion in other words miscarriage and uterine degeneration.

Vitamin E Dosage... 

The dosage underneath is the Recommended Dietary Allowance and be aware that this dosage is the minimum that you require per day to ward off serious deficiency of this particular nutrient. 

In the therapeutic use of this nutrient the dosage is usually increased considerably... yet the toxicity level must be kept in mind.

Males... 10 mg per day and females 8 mg per day.

Toxicity And Symptoms Of High Intake... 

Toxicity is not easily reached and high intakes may induce diarrhoea... nausea or abdominal wind. 

People on anticoagulant medication should not take more than 1200 IU per day.

Vitamin E Best Used With...

Take Vitamin E with the range of antioxidants that being vitamin C... beta carotene and selenium... vitamin B group vitamins as well as inositol and manganese is also indicated.

When More Vitamin E May Be Required... 

When your food regime is high in refined carbohydrates... fried foods and fat or you are taking a birth control pill or hormone replacement therapy then a supplement of vitamin E might be called for. 

People suffering from pre menstrual cramps... menopausal hot flushes... after a stroke or suffering from a heart disease might benefit from vitamin E. 

It might also be beneficial to relieve painful or swollen joints... if you are exposed to pollution and that is just about all of us or suffer from poor circulation or from Dupuytrens disease which is a thickening of the ligaments in the hands.

The Enemy Of Vitamin E... 

Vitamin E is lost in food processing which includes milling... cooking... freezing... long storage periods and when exposed to air.

Vitamin E should not be taken together with inorganic iron supplements as it may destroy the vitamin while organic iron such as ferrous gluconate and ferrous fumarate does not affect the vitamin.

Other Interesting Points About Vitamin E... 

When buying a supplement you often see d alpha tocopherol on the list of ingredients... that means that the vitamin E is from natural sources where as di alpha tocopherol will indicate that it is from synthetic origin. 




Food Sources Of Vitamin E



Vitamin E is found in nuts... coconut oil... vegetables... sunflower seeds... pine nuts... whole grains... spinach... asparagus... avocado... beef... most seafood... apples... carrots and celery.

So make sure you include this valuable and essential vitamin in your health plan.

As a Dynamic Lifer you develop a fit and healthy body... first though you must develop a fit and healthy mind whose purpose is to have a fit and healthy body!

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE





"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers... I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.



        
 
 
 
   
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