7 Methods To Help You Have A Clear Mind When Making Choices By Ange Fonce Do you practise The Art of Detachment? “You cannot take anything with you when you go.” Is a phrase we have all heard and at a deeper level this also ...

 

7 Methods To Help You Have A Clear Mind When Making Choices By Ange Fonce and more...


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7 Methods To Help You Have A Clear Mind When Making Choices By Ange Fonce





7 Methods To Help You Have A Clear Mind

When Making Choices


By Ange Fonce


Do you practise The Art of Detachment? 

“You cannot take anything with you when you go.” 

Is a phrase we have all heard and at a deeper level this also means“nothing belongs to me and at an even deeper level it means the illusion that things do belong to us is what kills our happiness.

For most of us the practice of detachment goes against the grain of our conditioning... many resist the suggestion due to attachment that detachment is essential to awaken awareness and empower oneself.

Behind the resistance there is a perception that detachment is cold hearted approach to life or that it is a way of avoiding responsibility.

In this article I want to show you the opposite is true.

Only when you can release what you are attached to do you create the space for the new to be produced and only when you are detached in situations of crisis or chaos can you remain stable and be of service to others who are affected by the emotions that must follow all attachment.

You may ask me... 




"Ange how do you detach?"


How do you step back and create the space to think more clearly and be free of the many influences around you.

Here are seven methods to detach... each is useful depending on the situation and circumstances.

1... Change your relationship from possessor to trustee

Use when you get too attached to your possessions... remind yourself nothing actually belongs to you... you cannot own anything because all you have is bits of paper that say you own something.

However you are a trustee of everything in your life until the time comes for you to let it go or give to someone else to have it in their life!

2... Let go

Use when you are holding to a specific opinion or position... next time you find yourself in an argument disarm the other by simply saying... 

“I do not agree with you and I accept that is your point of view... tell me more so that I may understand why you see it that way.”

3... Practice giving and gratitude

Use when you recognize yourself to be always wanting... desiring something from others... when you want something you are already attached to the object of your desire... almost all of us learn this habit from the moment we are born... we are conditioned into wanting things and develop some rather nasty behaviours to get what we want... like... 

“Gimme gimme gimme I want it!” 

And we will use all sorts of emotional and psychological methods to get it.

Break this habit by consciously practicing giving that is free of any desire for anything in return.

4... Mentally rehearse different outcomes

Use when you are scared of change and you are attached to and comfortable with the way things are or when you are holding on to some form of self limitation like saying I can not... all the top performers in most sports now realise the power that comes from mental rehearsal or visualisation... so take a few minutes to visualise future changes as a preparation to embrace those changes when they do arrive and see yourself doing what you previously thought you could not.

5... Do not identify with the situation and outcome

Use in any process any time and anywhere in life... this simply means do not make your happiness or success dependent on something or someone outside your self... especially the results of yours or others actions... be happy whatever the outcome of anything and learn from the experience... your happiness is a choice and a decision... not a random experience or a dependency on others.

Be optimistic even when dealing with pessimistic situations and you will notice happiness arising naturally and you develop mental toughness.

6... Imagine someone else dealing with the situation... how would they deal with it?

Use when your attachment is obviously influencing your ability to interact calmly with others... take a moment to imagine how someone whose wisdom you respect would handle the situation... this loosens your grip on your way and your habits of reaction... if that person is nearby sit with them and ask them how they would respond.

7... Look at the situation through the eyes of the other party

Appropriate in all conflict situations... this forces you to mentally release your attachment to one point of view from your position and to generate understanding and empathy.

Ask... listen... ask... listen... ask... listen is the secret to understanding the others point of view. 

As you do you will see though the eyes of another and relate to their situation and free yourself in the process from being involved in the drama of others.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE




"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.





        
 
 
 

The Challenge Of Worry V Outcome Based Thinking By Ange Fonce




The Challenge Of Worry V Outcome Based Thinking 


By Ange Fonce


"They have seen but half the universe who never have been shown the house of pain." 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first question to be answered by any individual or any social group facing a hazardous situation... is whether the crisis is to be met as a challenge with strength and purpose of action or as an occasion for despair and inaction.

You can proactively think about your problems to find solutions to them or you can worry about them and there is a vast difference between the two... worry is reactive thinking that has turned toxic like jarring music that goes round and round and never comes to either climax or a conclusion... 

Outcome Based Thinking works its way through problems to conclusions and decisions then actions!

Worry leaves you in a state of tensely suspended animation... stress and inaction because when you worry you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started and have gained nothing... it is just a HUGE a waste of precious time and energy... that would have been better invested in ACTUALLY solving the problems.

Outcome Based Thinking makes progress from one place to another... worry remains static... you can tackle the problems of life and change worry into Outcome Based Thinking and anxiety into proactive action.






It is in the whole process of meeting and solving problems that your life can have great meaning and often problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure... problems call forth your courage and your wisdom... indeed they create and develop your courage and your wisdom... it is only because of problems that you grow mentally and emotionally and it is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that you learn... grow and personally develop in your confidence and esteem.

You do not succeed in changing things according to your desire... yet gradually your desire changes and evolves and the situation that you hoped to change because it was intolerable becomes unimportant.

You have not managed to surmount the obstacle as you were absolutely determined to do... when you live our life with a Dynamic Purpose you find that life has taken you round it... led you past it and then if you turn round to gaze at the remote past... you can barely catch sight of it so imperceptible has it become as you are in a constant state of moving forward and growing in your awareness!

A long time ago it had seemed to me that life was about to begin... real life and there was always some obstacle in the way... something to be got through first... some unfinished business... time still to be served... some kind of debt to be paid then life would begin... at last it dawned on me that these supposed obstacles in my life... the majority of these problems I had created in my own mind!

Unfortunately all is not beauty and peace in the path of life that is the reality of living... I know I have never met a person who has not been challenged or wounded by some life event... difficulties present choices and also opportunities and you can either waste away from your wounds or use them to grow your personal confidence and esteem.

I will use an example and share a story from my own life here... 





As a young man I had a real passion for mountaineering and I am a survivor of a 200 feet fall down a rock face when I was climbing in North Wales.... my pelvis shattered and the bottom part of my spine was crushed and I suffered various other fractures and when recovering in hospital I was told I would never be able to walk properly again... if at all and possible be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of my life... I absolutely refused that idea and instead set about recovering to walk fully again... it took 6 very painful months to be able to walk without crutches... within a year I was playing football and after about 14 months... I was back mountaineering again... and to this day... I am fit... active and healthy... not a crutch or wheel chair in sight... and the accident that nearly killed me was over 35 years ago.

No I did not do it alone in my recovery...  I had some truly wonderful people help me because they saw my total dedication and persistence to succeed in walking again... and once I acquired that successful goal... the next goal was to get back to the life I had a great passion for... being in the mountains and exploring... I have always said that no one succeeds alone we succeed through and for one another.

We live in a world in which the worst looks as if it is going to happen and the worst often does happen and yet out of the anguish and waste then love and trust come in new forms... I could have just accepted what happened to me and become a victim and used that traumatic moment in my life as an excuse to become poor me and I would more and likely be in that wheel chair now... crippled not only in my body... crippled in my mind too. 

As Winston Churchill said...

"Never ever give up!"

And as I say... 

"Problems have SOLUTIONS that require ACTIONS to solve them... think about the problem... seek the best solutions and solve the problem with taking effective ACTION!"





Worrying is such a waste of time and energy and solves nothing and gains nothing... so instead of lying in that hospital bed worrying and feeling sorry for myself... I was thinking of how and will it take so that I could get back to doing what I loved doing most... being ALIVE and LIVING!

And I never took no or you cannot do this for an answer and once the Doctors and Nurses understood I was serious their attitude changed and all sorts of help come my way.

One thing I know about life... you do nothing and nothing will happen for you... waste your time worrying... waste Your Time Living and going nowhere fast and when you move and take action then all sorts of opportunities start to present themselves to you.

And I finish this article with this thought...

"The ultimate measure of a person is not where he or she stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he or she stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE





"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.






        
 
 
 

How To Be Fit And Healthy On A Low Cost Budget By Ange Fonce




How To Be Fit And Healthy On A Low Cost Budget 


By Ange Fonce


If you ever think of investing in some serious fitness equipment do not just yet. 

The reality is that you are unlikely to use any of the super gadgets you will pay premium prices for as for most people the treadmills and the bikes very quickly become clothes hangers dusting and wasting away somewhere in a dark corner of your house like the ab monsters and 6 in one pull up bars that seem like such a great idea to purchase at the time will be used for what... maybe once at best and then just be a nuisance that you keep stumbling over every now and then. 

If you are new to fitness my advice... buy nothing. 

When you first come to the idea of... 

“Yeah I should start exercising.” 

The first thought that comes to mind is what you need to buy to begin... you think you need special clothing... then maybe a gym membership and if you cannot afford one you look into home equipment you can get on credit... preferably something that is an ultimate home gym and that is how it is marketed to you... anyway you do not need any of this stuff to start with you really do not. 

You will not even use any of it and if you really want to start training just do it... all you need are some comfortable clothes and 10... 15 minutes of free time to actually get moving and if you are a beginner this is how you get into it. 

Only when you know you want to do more than that you should start thinking of investing money into a few things to help you vary your routines. 

And even then it is not something that will leave your wallet empty as there are only a couple of things that are actually worth paying for if you want to train at home. 




The Basic Items

First of all... stay away from anything complex. 

Anything that is marketed to you as the solution an easy one at that... is a waste of money. 

You only need a few basic things to have at hand... 

A... Some free weights for weight training 

B... Something for balance 

My favourite items are lose weights a step bench which I made myself... a Swiss ball and yoga mat and you can buy all these items at your local supermarket in the fitness section or off ebay. 

There is lots of equipment sold on ebay people do not want or use and I was actually given my free weights by a guy who brought them and did not use them you will just need to make sure the weights have a good grip.

Budget Buster Tip... 

You can fill two plastic bottles with water or sand as a substitute for weights or even use house bricks. 

Mind you ordinary looking pairs of free weights is one of the very few fitness equipment items worth investing into and a Swiss ball is something I myself find extremely helpful to have around for ab work and I find the Swiss ball... also known as an exercise ball to be an excellent ab work station and it is a lot better for your back to perform crunches on one of these balls and because you have to keep your balance it adds an extra level of difficulty... plus you keep on stumbling on it all the time and it reminds you about training... just make sure you do not hide it in a closet where you cannot see it. 

It happens with fitness equipment... once it is out of sight it is out of mind so keep your weights and your Swiss ball where you can see them. 

Other equipment that is worth mentioning is a fitness mat... if you have hard floors you may want to invest in one. 

Whatever you buy though go for the cheapest possible option because if you are not into exercises just yet the less you spend the better as how dedicated you will be to a daily training routine does not depend on how much money you throw into it... it is on the amount of time you actually invest in training because you can have a fully equipped gym with expensive machines in it and never use it once. 

Only when you feel that you can now do more and you need more equipment because you are getting bored with just a couple of things can you start looking into expanding your home gym and even then there are endless possibilities all around you with using other objects... like your own body weight to exercises... even carrying heavy boxes from one corner to the other is an option.

Exercise is also be fun... inventive... exciting and as natural for you as possible... that is how you actually stick with it and it becomes part of your lifestyle. 

Home gym equipment does not have to be complicated... specially engineered and expensive. 

With just a couple of things you can get an excellent workout... as long as you invest in the time



Five Minute Workout




1... Clean and Press... Minute 0:00... 1:00


Targets shoulders... back... butt... legs

A... Stand with feet shoulder width apart and place a 20 kg bar and weights on the floor near your feett. 

Squat... bringing the dumbbells to the outside of your knees... palms down.

B... Stand bringing the dumbbells to your hips... then raise the weights through your shoulders and overhead... lower and repeat for 60 seconds.




2... Side Lunge and Row... Minute 1:00... 2:00


Targets back... butt... legs

Stand with feet shoulder width apart... holding a pair of 5 pound dumbbells at your sides. 

Take a big step out to the right with your right foot... bending right knee 90 degrees while keeping left leg straight. 

Draw your left elbow straight up keeping arm close to side and butt tight. 

Return to start and repeat for 30 seconds then switch sides.





3... Plié Squat and Biceps Curl... Minute 2:00... 3:00


Targets biceps... butt... inner thighs

Stand with feet shoulder width apart and toes pointed out... holding a 5 Kg dumbbell in each hand with arms extended... palms up. 

Bend knees 90 degrees... squatting as you curl weights toward your shoulders. 

Return to start and repeat for 60 seconds.





4... Push Up Plus... Minute 3:00... 4:00


Targets shoulders... chest... triceps... abs... back

Begin in full push up position... palms on floor under shoulders and legs extended. 

Do one push up then carefully lift your left hand off the floor and extending your arm out to side. 

Holding here... lift your right foot off the floor. 

Lower hand and foot to floor. 

Do another push up and repeat with opposite hand and foot. 

Continue alternating sides.




5... Single Leg Deadlift with Kick Back... Minute  4:00... 5:00


Targets triceps... back... legs

Stand with feet hip width apart... holding 5 Kg dumbbells with elbows bent 90 degrees... hands close to your rib cage. 

Lift your left foot behind you and bend forward slowly from the hips as you straighten your arms... bringing them next to your hips. 

Return to starting position. 

Repeat for 30 seconds... switch sides and repeat.

So simple inexpensive ways you can burn the fat and improve your fitness and health without putting a hole in your budget.

And practically speaking that completes my conversation for this article.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE





"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.




        
 
 
 

Are You Aware of These 8 Media Relationship Myths? By Ange Fonce




Are You Aware of These 8 Media Relationship Myths?


By Ange Fonce


Imagine when you think a relationship should be a certain way... you watch the TV... you read magazines and you are being told it should be a certain way and yours is not and frustration sets in. 

Because frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship... which then builds up acid resentment which slowly destroys your relationships... that is why it is so critical to bust these myths and misconceptions. 

Here are 8 media myths about relationships that might surprise you as to how misleading they are.






A good relationship means that you do
have to work at it


Fact... The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work and when you look at our culture... education system and parenting styles... we are not prepared for the fact that even healthy relationships take a lot of effort because a healthy relationship is like a good garden. 

It is a beautiful thing and you would not expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labour and tender loving care... now how do you know if you are working too hard on a relationship? 

One sign is if you are feeling unhappy more than you are happy... in other words are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat more than enjoying it?

This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch and more like the normal state of affairs and your relationship on a deeper level becomes neglected and another negative sign is if you are trying hard to make improvements and changes and you do not see the same level of effort on your partners part. 

There has to be some sense of you are trying really hard and both of you are making changes and that those changes are making a difference.

If both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time... then that is a positive healthy sign for your relationship.





If partners really love each other they
know each others needs and feelings



Fact... It is a TOTAL set up and unfair to expect your partner to be able to read your mind. 

Because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants that is essentially what you are doing... you are making MASSIVE assumptions based on your own EXPECTATIONS of HOW you want your partner to be and behave?

We develop this expectation as kids in one way or another and as adults we are responsible for communicating our own feelings and needs. 

And once you have communicated your needs and feelings a better measure of the quality of your relationship is whether your partner actually listens to your words and understands you. 





If you are truly in love passion will never fade


Fact... Thanks to movies and romantic novels you assume that if you genuinely love someone the passion urging and loving never goes away. 

And if they do disappear then it must not be the right relationship or our relationship must be in trouble... because passion naturally diminishes in all relationships over time and is replaced with a deeper intimacy in a healthy loving relationship.

Daily routines are one of the culprits for diminishing passion and as our responsibilities grow and roles expand couples have less and less time and energy for each other and this does not mean that the passion is gone for good. 

With a little planning and playfulness and investing time for romancing each other you can boost the passion and keep it alive and healthy in your relationship... I see and help many relationships where passion is alive and well. 

Passionate sexing is a product of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness of each other... I also emphasized the importance of couples doing new things to perk up their relationships not just plodding along stuck in a rut and that means sexing as well. 

When it comes to passion squashing routines I suggested couples ask themselves... 

"How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?"

Like everything in a relationship... the passion between you both needs constant nurturing to keep it is flame alive and healthy.




Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage


Fact... Studies have shown that relationship happiness actually decreases with every child. 

This does not mean that you start loving each other less or that you will not bond at all over your child and the mounting challenges can complicate relationships and put real strain on the couples bond with each other and having realistic planning helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles. 

When you think that a child will improve your relationship it often only adds to the complications and these expectations cloud your judgement... I know of many instances where the woman has deliberately fallen pregnant without the man knowing hoping to improve the relationship between them and instead it has had the complete opposite effect of driving him further away.

I recommend planning ahead between you both and talking about the changes that will occur when you have your first child or more children.




Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring

 
Fact... Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship or the lack there of. 

Take the following example... 

If you have a jealous partner you might try to show them how much you care so they do not get jealous and you soon realize that any amount of caring is not a cure for their jealous reactions.

While you can be supportive your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own and no matter what you do you cannot make your partner feel more secure or change their personal confidence.

Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire on you and while men and women are just as likely to experience jealousy their reactions differ... men either get very defensive or angry thinking that the relationship is not worth it and leave. 

Women on the other hand respond by trying to improve the relationship or themselves.




Fights ruin relationships


Fact... In reality what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights. 

Fights can be really healthy and an important form of communication and clearing the air also the type of fight a couple has plays a role. 

Not surprisingly nasty scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution less and not talking for days damage the relationship and is the breeding ground for massive resentment to build up... so when the next fight happens and that resentment explodes further damaging the relationship even more and hastening the destructive cycle of love that has existed in the relationship.

Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement help a couple build on the love in their relationship and move the relationship forward.





In order for the relationship to be successful
the other partner must change.


Fact... Many times you are very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how you can become a better partner. 

Instead you demand that your partners make such and such changes and unless there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity or when it takes the two of you to agree to make changes that is healthy positive sign. 

We can all agree to disagree and even more than that... it is up to you to figure out what you can do and it is a profound mental shift to look at what can I do and what changes can I make?

While this seems simple and obvious yet 100 percent of the couples I see point the finger at each other and never look at themselves or their own actions and choices that has brought their relationship to the unhappy state it is in.




Couples Coaching means your relationship is really in trouble


Fact... By the time couples seek coaching this may be true and changing this mindset is key. 

Most couples seek relationship coaching when they have been suffering for a really long time and what elements were good in the relationship are destroyed... instead I suggest that people view couples coaching as preventative measure to working on their problems and finding solutions to them. 

This way such as when a couple comes in to see me when they have been stuck on one or two conflicts for a few months and not five or six over the last 10 years and they can work and cooperate together to find ways forward that actually strengthens their relationship and it is not an emergency operation to keep their relationship alive!

PREVENTION is far more effective than trying to heal a relationship that was once loving that has become resentful and embittered.

If you feel you are facing seemingly unconquerable struggles then please do Contact Me

It is far better to seek help now when there are the first signs of stress in a relationship which can be worked on and the relationship brought back to a healthy state.

Then when your relationship has become so bad that not even critical emergency help can save the love you both once shared.

And practically speaking that completes my conversation for this article.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE






"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.








        
 
 
 

Are You Envious Of Other People And Their Success? By Ange Fonce





Are You Envious Of Other People And Their Success? 


By Ange Fonce


Most people I know in my personal circle of friends are not envious of anything... yes they have personal goals that they aspire too and being envious is an aberration to them... I have found though in others that when one has that quality it is extremely strong and being envious often is the embodiment of dissatisfaction with them selves and with their life situation or material possessions. 

The people I have have worked with as a Personal Development Consultant who have been envious... usually have been dissatisfied with almost everything about themselves and lacking in personal esteem and personal confidence and trust in themselves and others and they are miserable and resentful because of it.

Loss of love... loss of relationships... loss of friendships and loneliness... yes they may have a lot of money and material wealth.... yet they are not at peace or accepting of  themselves... they are always measuring and comparing themselves against someone else.

They are never good enough in their own eyes and are always complaining and please note here... 

I personally have nothing against any one who has worked hard and taken the risks to create their lives and grown wealthy... I have a lot of respect for such men and women... I usually find such people are happy with themselves are generous and confident most of the time and are grateful for what they have... and that they are likeable and charismatic and they possess what I call an Abundant Mind Set... they achieve and acquire what they set out to do and in doing so acquire their success and as I work with such men and women who want to create and achieve that success for themselves!

When somebody else has something that you want... the Emotionally Mature men and women realise that yes he or she would like to have that thing yet “oh well”... he or she does not mind and “that is that” at the present time and their mindset is...  

“If I want it... I will work hard to earn the money to be able to buy it and then I will have my own... yet for now that person has it and I do not and my life goes on.” 

The envious man and woman on the other hand becomes obsessed with the idea of having that something that someone else has... whether it be a new car... a new wife or boyfriend... a new dress or jacket... whatever that obsession leads to dissatisfaction with yourself because that other person has something special and you do not and you twist this envious obsession in your mind... that not having and possessing that something special makes you less of a person in your own mind... it is what I call the poverty mindset.




Obsessive Envy


A person who is satisfied with whatever he and she has will not become obsessive about something that someone else has... you might admire or would like to have your own and  your happiness is not defined by something you see and would like and cannot have. 



Dissatisfaction comes from many sources like low personal esteem and poor self image and thoughts of inferiority and of isolation... thoughts of loneliness and being disconnected from others or painful emotions experienced at the hands of someone else or self inflicted on yourself... the list could go on and on and an envious individual lets their own self image and personal esteem be defined by a  thing... person or object and becomes obsessed with the idea of possessing it or in the case of another person becoming exactly like them.

I know that if you are going to deal with envious behaviour you must first look at it as a symptom not as a trait in itself as it is easy to say... 




"Thou shalt not covet and be envious." 


First the question to be asked is ... what are you are envious off?

You need to examine the ideas... ideals... beliefs that the person who is envious thinks is true? 

You need to look at the whole package... the cause of the envious behaviour and not just the symptoms of the envious behaviour itself!

The best thing we can do for a person who is envious is not just point out the fact that he or she is doing something he or she will ultimately end up very unhappy and unfulfilled and to help them find out why they are doing so? 

If they think that people will admire them more if they were married to a certain person or driving a certain car... you need to let them know that you admire them already for exactly who they are... that they are good enough. 

If you are envious of others you have to ask yourself as to what you are envying and envious off... because this envious behaviour is holding you back from getting the most out of what you already have and the life you are living. 

If you feel that having a certain thing or person will affect how others view you then know that acceptance or admiration based on material looks and possessions is superficial and fleeting you may get a few comments at first... yet real admiration is based on character and respect and character is never reflected in the material or superficial. 

Character is who you are and how you conduct yourself and treat other people... be you... be the TRUTH YOU ARE and be comfortable and confident with that. 

Always work to personally develop what and who you are and never think that you will be better for having some thing... you are who you are for a purpose and to be the best of who you are and to be that Dynamic man and woman to the very best of your own personal ability.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely




Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE




"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"


Join us today and become one of The Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer and if you want to share with a friend a writing... please go ahead and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers...I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.





        
 
 
 
   
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